Marie Sheehan

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit

[Billy @_billyreid]

North Koreans finding out this morning that they beat Spain 5-0 to win a tenth straight World Cup

[Josh Deburnke @DrDeburnke]

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

[munii @m1nuyln2]

if lola thinks she’s petty then wait until she meets me #loveisland

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I've never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

[Mike 📺 @michaelcollado]

Opening Twitter is like having a lil phone cigarette

[Hazumi 🦁⚔️ 【HEIRS】 @hazumiaileen]

Asked the guy at dunkin donuts for a “boston creampie” and he said “uh, boston cream???” and i actually want to cry now

[Kristin Raworth 🇨🇦 @KristinRaworth]

I've never sen anything more accurate

[Sal the Agorist @SallyMayweather]

As long as you don’t need gas or groceries things aren’t so bad

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Well sure, that minor change in plans realistically affects almost nothing. But unfortunately I have The Disease

[Rissa @rissa_kimmy]

Please get back to doing puzzles, sudoku, board games, crosswords, word search. Read long novels and watch long form videos.

Seeing my students and even my age-mates uncomfortable being cognitively unentertained is... something. We’re losing patience with thinking deeply.

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

Connor Storrie stars in new SNL teaser

[sam @samantitheos]

i'm sorry, but our prime minister becoming the new "girl who is going to be okay" meme while wrapped in the shane hollander fleece is objectively the funniest thing to happen in 2026 so far

[Mikael @BacardiCapital]

I feel like no one ever gets slizzard or fly like a G-6 anymore

[໊ @meishato]

my anxiety has a loophole that if somebody else is equally or more uncomfortable i develop the sudden ability to DO THE THING. i can’t go and ask for more ketchup for myself but if my friend wants more ketchup i’m out of my seat in a second

[Mike 📺 @michaelcollado]

Chickens when cars don’t let them cross the road

[n x d @nxd1979]

listening to audiobooks is not reading

[Scott Moore @ScottMoore0]

Either Star Trek got it wrong or this is about to be the most eventful 9 days in Irish history.

[camille @prairie_posie]

i’ve watched this a dozen times by now. get this woman into congress immediately

[hayd @haydroflask]

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way in the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them!!!