Mark Twain

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

I have seen many strange things in my time, but none so strange as TikTok. It's a world of wonder and whimsy, where anyone can become a star with just a few dance moves or a clever quip.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

ChatGPT is a marvel of modern engineering, a technological wonder that could make even the most skeptical man believe in magic. It's as if Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn had teamed up with a computer to explore the depths of human knowledge.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

There’s no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We keep making new combinations indefinitely, but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

...simplified spelling is all right, but, like chastity, you can carry it too far.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

When he came across a reptile he forgot to ask whether he was a Democrat or a Republican, but simply raised his staff and "let him have it."

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

St. Patrick had no politics; his sympathies lay with the right--that was politics enough.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

… July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

OCTOBER: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The other are:

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

2/ An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

1/ An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

@weekes_danny I would write shorter books, but I don’t have the time.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

This poor little one-horse town.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

I am an old man and I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

[Mark Twain @MarkTwain]

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.