Martin

Never buy the Scum Fuck the Tories
Middlesbrough FC fan Love Ska/ Madness

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@hayllar_jane 🤪😜😅

[Martin @Martin890139971]

I got burgled last night, but all they took were Crisps,Mars bars & Kit Kat's.
Police reckon it was snackheads.

#Lunchpun

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@hayllar_jane 🤪🤪

[Martin @Martin890139971]

Woman was in court for nicking a tin of peaches.
The judge said "How many peaches were in the tin?"
"4" she replied.
The judge said "You will serve 1 month for each peach".
Her husband shouted from the gallery "She nicked a tin of peas as well !!!".
#mondaymirth

[Martin @Martin890139971]

What is an electrical engineers favorite song?
Watt is love,Baby don’t hertz me,
Don’t hertz me,N-ohm more
#LunchPun

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@hayllar_jane Cheers mate 😜😜

[Martin @Martin890139971]

I've just woken up in a fit of uncontrolable laughter.
Think I must of slept funny.
#badjokefriday

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@_Tracy2 Did he plough her

[Martin @Martin890139971]

I’m not saying my sex life is crap but I banged my toe the other day and thought I’d got lucky 🍀🤪#SillySaturday

[Martin @Martin890139971]

I buy all my furniture and bathroom fittings from the local Chinese restaurant
Last night I ordered a suite and shower
#BadJokeThursday

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@SwanstonRobert Thankfully the fairy never appeared lol

[Martin @Martin890139971]

My young son's tooth fell out last night.
My wife said to him, "If you put it under your pillow, a fairy will come along and replace it with a fiver."
So once he fell asleep, I crept into his bedroom, took the tooth from under his pillow and put it under mine. #LunchPun

[Martin @Martin890139971]

Gloria Gaynor invited six friends round for dinner, but one of them didn't turn up. “Never mind”she said,
“I will serve five”
#WednesdayWit

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@SwanstonRobert Class lol 😅😅

[Martin @Martin890139971]

I used to look after Bernard Matthews’ financial affairs, towards the end of his life. I was his Power Of A Turkey.🤩#TuesdayTitters

[Martin @Martin890139971]

Nothings Gunner stop us now
#ASongOrMovieForSportsClubNames

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@H3LL0Ami Happy Monday x

[Martin @Martin890139971]

Two Eskimos sitting in a Kayak were getting cold, so they decided to light a fire,
unfortunately it sunk the boat.........
thus proving that you can't have your Kayak and heat it......#Mondaymirth

[Martin @Martin890139971]

@puddykat21 Happy Monday x

[Martin @Martin890139971]

The school I went to had a massive problem with drugs
Especially class A

#SideSplittingSunday