Martin Toner

Knobby eared Glaswegian Hard Man, apparently... Any opinions expressed are purely coincidental.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

I believe that every human life is a process of striving for a single perfect moment. This was mine.

[Marc Riley ⚽️🍺🐳 @marcrileydj]

End of an Error as they say…. 😳😄

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@thedailymash Fine with all of these, but call Glasgow "Glasgae" and I'll malky you.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@martin_clark1 @bbclaurak @BetteridgesLaw What do you think of Toner's Law - "any tweet ending with the "pondering" emoji is best ignored". 🤔

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

To everyone asking - the answer is 19 November. #InternationalWomensDay

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@michaelj9 @martin_clark1 Manhattan Transfer, purely because the hotel we stayed in for our honeymoon was "on the little street in Singapore" immortalised in their song.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

Pre-video "ad" pops up on YouTube: Nigel Farage. Today of all days.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

Cor-purr-ate governance https://t.co/lFcBTj8CFA

[Bud Garden Centre @BudGardenCentre]

We need a surveyor to assess the market value of the land we trade from: any recommendations Twitter?
I'm really frightened about Bud's future. Not only is the landlord increasing the rent, but it looks like he's going to stop us using the space outside the gate. HELP.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@martin_clark1 @mrjamesob Agreed. Us pedants have to stick together.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@SoVeryBritish @realjahwobble Some years ago in New York I bumped into a man, and somehow came out with "Oh, I'm terribly sorry!", thus deftly defying any expectations of a stereotypical British response 🙄

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@joannecaldwell @rosemdee @CathyLewin Well done Joanne!

[UKRunChat @UKRunChat]

RT this and follow @LinQsport to be in the Sunday 21st November 9pm draw to win a pair of running shoes of your choice up to the value of £100. We will have one winner. Good luck #ukrunchat

Download the app and connect with runners at events here: https://t.co/TH34CpOywi

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@zappabrel @ChrisFrantzTTC I saw @acrmcr open their set with Houses in Motion at @thisisgorilla last week.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@vickswczz @Alan_Measles By coincidence we've been to the GP Art Club at @mcrartgallery this afternoon, really enjoyed it!

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@shaunwkeaveny Grab that Gretsch before the truth hits town ...

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@BudGardenCentre @JennyCFisher I'm not 100% sure Brenda, but I think Jenny might be the woman who found our cat when she went missing a couple of years ago!

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@govindajeggy As a grumpy Scotsman I don't enjoy Spoonerisms ...

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@martin_clark1 @BestMagOfficial @McGiff Funnily enough whenever I have marital problems I find Jonathan Van Tam can set me straight with a little bit of common sense.

[Martin Toner @MartinToner4]

@susie_dent I assume "monkey dysania" is when you won't get out of bed for less than five hundred quid?