Martini Mike Burgess

I make drinks for the needy and am allergic to cardboard.

[Martini Mike Burgess @Martini_Mike]

This is so sad. @people get it together and be better or just go away.

[Jenna Illies @jennaillies]

These are the exact same issue of this mag, but I guess @people decided to play a fun game to see which sensationalized tragedy involving former child stars (tragedies they absolutely contributed to) would sell more copies?🤮🤮🤮 🤦🏻‍♀️ READ THE ROOM! #BritneySpears #brittanymurphy

[Martini Mike Burgess @Martini_Mike]

The new @hbomax documentary about #brittanymurphy is phenomenal. I had to figure out my old Twitter password just to log in and share this information with you. You're welcome.
And thank you @HBO for treating the topic with so much respect for family, fans, and most of all her.

[FR★N @fransexuality]

just played “call your girlfriend” at a gen z bachelorette party and literally no one knew what it was may the lord bless u & keep u amen

[gabrus🚽 @Gabrus]

twitter is a fun place to read 40 year olds talking about how they were in the gifted program as a child

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

“Simone should have done it for the team!” say all the unvaccinated asshats.

[Ben Yahr @benyahr]

RIP Karen Gayler.
Cause of death: Madonna.

[Martini Mike Burgess @Martini_Mike]

@Alaska5000 someone is enjoying #quarantinecabaret as much as I am 😁

[Martini Mike Burgess @Martini_Mike]

@helloross I absolutely ADORED your shout-out on @mametown insta story. THE BEST. What's also the best? Your book. I read it the first night I got it. Just like I did with Mamrie's. #kisskiss #reallyphenomenalwork

[Breckin Meyer @breckinmeyer]

10 years ago this magical, fantabulous angel left us WAY too early. So crazy talented & the sweetest lil fairy ya ever could meet. Full Disclosure: Travis kisses Tai on the head because Brit was always like a lil sister to me. Missing Brit lots today. #BrittanyMurphy

[Martini Mike Burgess @Martini_Mike]

@WAVY_News @AndyFoxWAVY why aren't you talking about the air rescues and total destruction in Ocracoke, NC?

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

Mr. Trump is a lying bigot.

[Eva @EvaBebetina]

My favorite part of The Lion King is @billyeichner and @Sethrogen cropping each other out of their picture with Beyoncé.

[Martini Mike Burgess @Martini_Mike]

@gracehelbig I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty in the latest video - just promise you'll resist the urge to get bangs. 😉 You regret it every time.

[Miss Piggy @MissPiggy]

Some say "Have money, will travel." Not moi! Instead, I say, "Travel first, figure out who will pay for it later."

[omri @Omri_Rawrlan]

Sing like no one is listening.

Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Dance like the girl that called you gay on a megaphone in middle school is always the first person to watch your Instagram stories.

[NCAA March Madness @MarchMadnessWBB]

Muffet McGraw: A voice for women.

A voice for women in sports.

#WFinalFour | @ndwbb

[Martini Mike Burgess @Martini_Mike]

@HelloRossPod I loved the song! It was stuck in my head all morning!

[jocy @jocelynseip]

current mood: absolutely losing it over these pics of bad panoramas of dogs