Mary Mary

'You want to BE French, Mary Frances, that's your problem...' Poor Mary Frances in her beige beret. ~ David Sedaris. she/her

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@TheSewphist 100% and mix+match 🙌🏾

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@SamSmithComedy @southpacificpix @ThreeNewZealand Oh, yes please Sam

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@Phil_Panders *Two* cups? Did they hate you?

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@Phil_Panders @homoeconomix I aspire to this look, with a dash of an earthquake in a paint factory where the lids are all loose.

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@nzpost Mōrena e te kapa, is there a way for me to find out the clearance schedule for a post box?

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@Phil_Panders Yeah, I may live to regret being born right in the middle of their summer 😆 Got any other top tips, alongside wax statuary?

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@Phil_Panders Okay well my shopping list for when I go there next month just got a little longer.

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@sianharries_ The Emperor's New Groove.

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

Brilliant show by @EdGambleComedy in #Wellington last night but I need to know! Where did he go for dinner?

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

Let in be known that if you ring a funeral director on a Saturday at 8am they will have a professional, calm & reassuring chat with you & provide whatever help you may need, but they will be in their undies throughout.

[cats being weird little guys 👅 @weirdlilguys]

people have been saying this

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

With you, my darling, every night is Dry Aged Beef night.

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

Look, you motherfuckers, this joke is perfect. PERFECT.

[Jerome Chandrahasen @JeromeChandra]

A picture is hangry, a man in hangried

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

Funeral Directors are the only bastards out washing their cars in the rain

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

I genuinely, literally and with no exaggeration had a nightmare about hot-desking.

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

Halfway through the latest episode of The Last Of Us is NOT the time you wanna have an earthquake #eqnz

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

"Her wordplay is very clever and she brings a bright and likeable start to the show." Honestly "likeable" is not what I expected BUT I'm very happy with it!
Review: Best on Tap Stands Up – ⁦@wellingtonista⁩ https://t.co/BV86GdNRDV

[Mary Mary @MaryFrances110]

@FeltonR What a FACE

[The sunny side of Franz Kafka @AmschelKavka]

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Franz Kafka, 1912.