Mary Melissa Roland

striving to be the most over qualified PTA president

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

@Katlyn_Cakes3 Move to Pittsburgh and you can have one

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

Only in Pittsburgh can I get a sunburn at noon and then freeze in the snow later that afternoon

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

@Katlyn_Cakes3 Sourdough

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

Ngl Fisher-Price has some straight bops

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

Pro tip: have your baby in July of an Summer Olympic year so you get paid to watch your baby (the Olympics)

[NBC Olympics & Paralympics @NBCOlympics]

Hey Stephen (Olympics Version) #ParisOlympics

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

I’m supposed to be giving birth in 2 days but #loveislandusa is not on cable just streams on the app…odds I can sneak my laptop in to the hospital to stay up to date without my husband bitching?!?

[tate @50FirstTates]

my roommate is so unserious

[KFC @KFCBarstool]

That’s the most “we want caitlin Clark in the national championship” call ever and they didn’t even try to hide it

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

Rigged…fucking rigged

[Bill Underwood @mercerpastprez]

A final note on Mercer’s success in producing Goldwater Scholars. We have as many as Emory, Tech, and UGA, which are much larger schools. Mercer produced as many as the entire SoCon combined, supporting Mercer’s inclusion among the nation’s leading undergrad research programs.

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

@Katlyn_Cakes3 Slate blue

[Blooper @BlooperBraves]

dude who got Usher’s roller skates on

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

To the Uber eats driver that stole my Thai food tonight, I hope you get a flat tire and that the food is spicy enough to make you cry

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

Steelers game a blast.
Renegade a bop.
But Renegade with a light show straight electric.
@steelers watch a video of Sandstorm @GamecockFB

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

Kaleb getting yelled at by a Seahawks fan for shit talking the Steelers is honestly peak Pittsburgh comedy

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

It really hurts my feelings when my boss is able to hold in his laughs at my humorous texts during seminars

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

@Katlyn_Cakes3 That’s ranch and BBQ sauce surely—-I refuse to believe it’s ketchup

[Mary Melissa Roland @MaryMRoland]

Starting a petition to get lecture halls to have heated recliners like the movies