Mason Hoffman

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

@lalavin666 This will surely go viral!

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

@deetzmageetz I suggest you read “parable of the sower”. Great and pertinent book.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i went outside one more time before bed. the human kept calling me. but the stars look so nice right now. if i sit and enjoy them long enough. the human will have no choice. but to come out. and enjoy them with me

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

@deetzmageetz Because english is weird.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

@deetzmageetz Either is correct

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Currently spooning my gf’s cat while being spooned by my gf. Might be the best night of my life.

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Video games aren’t causing mass shootings, white supremacy is.

Sadly the GOP refuse to acknowledge that, bc their strategy relies on rallying a white supremacist base.

That‘s why the President hosts stadiums of people chanting “send her back”& targets Congress-members of color.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

@gwendolyngiles This has happened to me so many times that I now keep a notebook in bed with me.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Dude had cargo shorts on and still had to ask me for a guitar pick. #disappointed

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Hey siri? How do I ask this old lady at the bar what crossword app she is using without it seeming like I’m coming onto her?

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Lyft driver listened to the static between stations for like five minutes before changing it. #why

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Thought I just heard someone say their penis was in cancer. Astrology is wild

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

@deetzmageetz why didn’t Peter Criss go by Peter KISS?! Missed opportunity if you ask me.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Learning how to embrace this happy feeling instead of focusing on the fear of being hurt. Lemme tell ya it’s hard work.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

If you elect me as your President, I promise on day 1 to sign an executive order outlawing all berklee music grad white bread funk covers.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

I just realized I know an Autumn, a Winter, and Summer. If anyone named Spring wants to be friends I am trying to collect the whole set.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Imagine having sex, hitting your head on the headboard, and a fucking Kalashnikov hits you in the neck.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

Few things scare me more than when things are going well.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

For the second time in my life, someone said I look like Travis Tritt.

[Mason Hoffman @MasonHonyock]

A thought I just had: “What’s wrong with that guy’s shirt?” “Oh he’s a drummer...”