Matthew Brown

I’m just some fucking guy

[Liz Cheney @Liz_Cheney]

You’re welcome, @KariLake.

[Quinton Reviews @Q_Review]

Imagine Elon Musk takes over your job and fires you, not knowing your contract says you get $42,000,000 on the spot if this happens

[Fenix 🔜 Denfur 🏳️‍🌈 leggy toaster @royaltoaster1]

Made a really scary jack-o-lantern this year.

[Colleen @Coll3enG]

Taylor Swift makes music for people who cried during the AP English exam and still got a 5

[Jason Selvig @jasonselvig]

Just in case you needed another reason to hate the Astros.

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

Inflation Rate
🇪🇺: 10.9%
🇩🇪: 10.9%
🇬🇧: 10.1%
🇮🇹: 9.4%
🇪🇸: 9%
🇮🇪: 8.6%
🇺🇸: 8.2%

No. Inflation is not going up in the U.S. because the working class got a $1,400 check 19 months ago. Multinational corporations are jacking up prices worldwide.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Republican candidate for AZ school governing board position told the officer he was just trying to relieve stress while masterbating in his truck near a preschool. It’s a stressful time for MAGA patriots fighting groomers and the Marxist woke mob.

[Some More News @SomeMoreNews]

I was told that school shootings are a mental health issue.

[Fred Wellman @FPWellman]

@Jim_Jordan Why did the taxpayers of Ohio pay for you covering up years of sexual abuse of your wrestlers?

[fredesque @FredTaming]

me: congrats, when is the baby due

pregnant librarian: oh it's mine i get to keep it

[neen @neenaab3]

Your son made me take plan b after we hooked up but carry on

[litquidity @litcapital]

Stock market: 📉

Crypto: 📉

Wage growth: ➖

The price of rent, gas, food and other shit you need to survive: 📈📈📈📈

[Joe @Joe93182167]

I went out and surveyed my town for worker shortages.

Jobs paying $30 an hour or more:

No shortage

$25-30 an hour: No shortage

$20-25 an hour: No shortage

$15-20 an hour: A couple help wanted signs.

Jobs paying less than $15 an hour:

Shortage!

If only there was a solution

[Matthew Brown @MattHadNoTweets]

@scurvylimb @kyrstensinema She doesn’t care, she’s already made a ton of money.

[Mac @GoodPoliticGuy]

his wife literally tried to overturn the election

[Zoë Schiffer @ZoeSchiffer]

Ian Goodfellow, Apple’s director of machine learning, is leaving the company due to its return to work policy. In a note to staff, he said “I believe strongly that more flexibility would have been the best policy for my team.” He was likely the company’s most cited ML expert.

[Matthew Brown @MattHadNoTweets]

@FlightyApp @FlaggedForDepot @IDGAFGenius Curious about the “hundreds of dollars for push notifications” part, what’s up?

[Fifty Shades of Whey @davenewworld_2]

@benshapiro

[river 🤠 @rivbutcher]

Remember like two weeks ago when Elon was like “tell me how to end world hunger and I’ll do it” and then he bought twitter for $44 billion instead