Matt Hancock MP app

Look, look … I just did a social media lol! Parody

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

Nobody can really predict anything. Who do you think I am??? Bloody Nostradamus??? 😡

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@_SaveOurStatues Picton was so patriotic that when he was convicted of torture of a minor by the British courts, he argued that Trinidad was not subject to British rule and pled that it came under Spanish law which permitted torture ... while being the actual British governor of Trinidad!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@kevmersh @squeezyjohn If you have to explain to someone that it’s a joke then it’s either a shit joke … or more likely it wasn’t a joke at all … just you having a go.

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

Could now be the time for the Matt Hancock App? What with Facebook and Instagram down and #TwitterDown ... you know it makes sense people ... sign up ... link in my profile.

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@piersmorgan I'm here if you need me ... social media for West Suffolk and beyond!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@Twitter OMG … can’t believe you’re saying hello to me … as a regional social media for West Suffolk … I’m extremely proud to be mixing it with the big boys!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@MichaelRosenYes ???

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

Has anyone had long covid symptoms of fatigue & loss of taste/smell for 10 weeks or more and then fully recovered - if so, what did you do that helped get over it?
It's getting very irritating..

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

Wait until Stephen sees traditional Morris dancing!

He's going to explode 💥😡💥

[Stephen Phillips 💻 @uk_sf_writer]

I'm sure this comment will cause howls of anger, but I won't be watching Strictly Come Dancing, this season until any same-gender dancers are eliminated.

I really don't care what people do in private why should I? I just don't want to watch it.

#WokeBBC driving an agenda.

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@TPointUK Italy seemed to manage … and they took the knee!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

This is how it works ... I always get the job! ... then whatever I'm in charge of fails while I tell everyone what a great job I'm doing ... and then when it gets critically bad we have to get private investors in and no-one bats an eyelid because it's an emergency! Success!!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

#GBNewsFails is a sure sign that I'm actually in charge ... I'm proud of my record at #TalkTalkFails, #TestAndTraceFails and soon when I get the job running the NHS you can look forward to #NHSFails too ... did you plebs think you were getting free healthcare for ever? Ha ha ha!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

Has anyone noticed that I'm also secretly running #GBNews?

With @GBNewsFails like these ... who else could it have been? Seriously ... you guys!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

I've applied to be CEO of the NHS ... how hard can it be? You know full well I'm going to get it ... so there's probably no point in anyone else even applying.

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

Nobody could have predicted where the sun would be for matches played when most international competitions happened. I’m very proud of my achievements overseeing the building of the new Wembley stadium!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

I understand they want both the NHS to fail despite its huge budget ✅

And that they want to harvest all of your medical data to sell to big Pharma and health insurance companies ✅

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

Just because I ballsed-up test and trace and oversaw a massive data breach of TalkTalk customers' confidential data doesn't mean I won't be brilliant running the NHS. 4 members of the government wrote a book on how to privatise the NHS by the back door ... and I'd be perfect!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

Far from failing as head of Test and Trace we have been hugely successful. I'm proud of the fact that I managed to get £37 billion for Serco already, and by allowing the spread of new variants, we hope to get even more.
https://t.co/Vl58G3orHz

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

It's an honour to be asked to represent an organisation with values so close to my heart 💓 ... allowing those with already enough money to flourish without the constraint of having to entertain those who reach the same playing field on nothing more than merit and hard work.

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

I am delighted to announce that I have been chosen to head the company running the new European Super League containing such Big 6 giants of the game as Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur and Old Etonians. #europesuperleague

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@squeezyjohn Nobody could have predicted that allowing thousands of people to mingle freely at the onset of a deadly pandemic would cause people to die!

[Matt Hancock MP app @MattHancockApp]

@BorisJohnson Just in case anyone picks me up on it later ... I'm going to say that I don't predict any need for an 4th lockdown in April/May. There's no way that I could possibly predict such a thing just by looking at all the kids mixing in their hundreds up and down the country.