matt kowech

Breathe.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

17/05/2026. 0919.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@equipedefrance Y'all learned too quick what the US wants.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

Nadina by Mbilia Bel. Timeless.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@Griz_zly8 @Mamaduu040 @nangfrank it'd be that ish you using.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@nangfrank @noelweks Baada ya slavery.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@nangfrank @noelweks Big on camouflaging.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@OEnzoveli @NotYourNyukwaKE I am referring to the hosts not calling her out. She was ignorant.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@Aadozo Dumb take. Why would we cancel him? He is infact the one who bore the brunt of infidelity.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

Ye figured out a new way to get that $ quick. Bank on the demographics.

[Lewis Capaldi @LewisCapaldi]

Me deciding what to wear on stage every night

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@kenyansportsguy Argentina and Spain have really improved.

[🇨🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇭© @InsideLucysHead]

The British Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus...

They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.

He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.

He walked out with £96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old sergeant-major who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received.

But the old sergeant-major insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived at the barracks in the UK and instructed the sergeant-major to 'drop 'em', which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the sergeant's penis and began to work back.

'Dear Lord,' The medical officer suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your balls?'

The old sergeant-major calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

This made my day.
https://t.co/qdKBWdalBw

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@nangfrank I can neither deny nor confirm. But K is constant.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@LearnToToad Habemus Trumpam.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@ArsenalRadar Zubi screw you.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

Kasiva Mutua is who she thinks she is. Her album; Desturi has no skips. #PercussionQueen

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

@CarolRadull It will definitely depend on his stride and pace. He has the height. It is possible.

[matt kowech @MattKowech]

Iran is winning the mind games.