Matt Slippy

[FantasyPros @FantasyPros]

Going into work with an 0-2 fantasy record

[Clemente @clementetv_]

If Moneyball was about Fantasy Football

[Pittsburgh Dad @Pittsburgh_Dad]

Duquesne Light describing their service to prospective customers

[Austin Abbott @AustinAbbott]

Some of the wildest stats in NFL history:

- The Bears have never had a 4,000+ yard passer in a season (106 seasons)

- All 4 of the Baltimore/Indianapolis Colts Superbowls were played in Miami

- Larry Fitzgerald in 17 seasons finished with more tackles (42) than drops (29)

- During the entire 2014 NFL regular season, the Kansas City Chiefs did not throw a single receiving touchdown to a wide receiver

- The Panthers have never recorded back to back winning seasons in their franchise history, yet they once won the NFC South division 3 years in a row (31 seasons)

- The Buccaneers lost 26 consecutive games from 1976-1977. This was their first 26 games as a franchise. 0-14 in year 1, then they went 2-12 in year 2.

- Every NFC team has played in the NFC Championship game since 2010, except the Cowboys, who haven’t since 1995

- Ryan Fitzpatrick led the 2019 Dolphins in Rushing Yards (243) and TD’s (4).. Dude was 37 years old at the time..

- Tom Brady never played a game in his entire career where he was mathematically eliminated from the playoffs going into it.

- For his entire career, Tom Brady has a better chance of getting to the Super Bowl (47.6%) than Steph Curry has of making a 3 pointer (42.2%).

- The Jets joined the NFL in 1970. They beat the eagles for the first time in 2023.

- The Lions went 70 straight games without having a 100 yard rusher. This was during the Stafford era.. it started after Reggie Bush rushed for 117 yards on Thanksgiving in 2013. The drought lasted almost 5 seasons before Kerryon Johnson rushed for 101 yards in 2018..

- Mike Vrabel had 12 career receptions during his career, and every single one was a touchdown..

[Meme Cannons @MemeCannons14]

The guy who invented cheese is a hero 🧀

[Jarrett Bailey @JBaileyNFL]

Cris Collinsworth: Raccoons kept getting my tomatoes. So I went out and bought a crossbow and a ghillie suit. I Camped out in my yard, blasted one at 3 AM, and displayed it as a warning. My neighbors called the ASPCA, so I have a court date next week.

Mike Tirico: Second down

[Matt Slippy @MattSlippy]

@AdamSchefter Was Doubs unavailable?

[Frank J. Fleming @IMAO_]

“This is the fifth time we’ve negotiated a peace with Iran during this war and we’ve become exceedingly efficient at it.”

[East Bay Chris @EastBayChris]

First image of Kyle Shanahan recovering in the hospital after his accident has been released:

[The Race @wearetherace]

Electing a new Pope etc etc

[patagucci perf papi @kenwheeler]

if you’ve ever worked in open floorplan, this is basically the fuckin four seasons

[Matt Slippy @MattSlippy]

There. Fixed it. Perfectly balanced. And a low risk, high reward dish for the lettuce apocalypse or whatever the kids are calling it.

[Matt Slippy @MattSlippy]

Now that’s a proper steak salad.

[Matt Slippy @MattSlippy]

Should’ve added fries n’at.

[Annie Agar @AnnieAgar]

haven’t seen this many tweets about fire and canada since the steelers jet sweep days.

[Matt Slippy @MattSlippy]

@wearetherace @WorldBollard CC’d for visibility

[Alex @ajak1033]

The Spurs know how to TAKE the lead, they just don't know how to HOLD the lead. And that's really the most important part of the lead: the holding

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

“He’s trying to pack as he goes. Increase item velocity.”