The Matt Dean

AV software developer, ex-cop & creator/chief admin of the globe’s biggest, best & favourite industry Facebook groups: AV Disasters & AV Rigging Disasters

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@tfl What’s going on with the announcements ‘please mind the doors’ etc on the Jubilee Line? Couldn’t understand any of them today and almost didn’t mind the doors !!

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@Seraphinaf5 Answers are hilarious tbf!

It’s 71.

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@owencb @O2 @creudegurb @o2es In Spain, O2 is an online-only flanker brand operated by Telefónica. So it’s Telefónica who are shit. In the UK I’ve just turned the shit 5G off on my phone which stops poor service. Give this a try.

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@FIFAWorldCup I’m just putting this out there - but I’m not sure we’ll be seeing much more of Ilgiz Tantashev this tournament. What an absolute joke of a ref.

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@MartinCaceres07 19 minutes into the game against France. I mean why writhe around on the ground and limp? When you know that 20 million people watching know you’re acting? What a plumb!! Didn’t even touch you 🤣🤣

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@JustPark @wokingcouncil More classic moments at Heathside Crescent earlier. Before this cars were backed up as the ANPR couldn’t see the plates. Nightmares of entire rows of cars trying to reverse back. 🤦‍♂️

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@WilliamShatner “Get the wets in” - RAF speak for asking someone get get a round of Teas and Coffees sorted out. Other military services are available.

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@tvlicensing QR code shown on screen for the #worldcup doesn’t actually work 🤣🤣 Says it all to be honest 🤣🤣

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

Guard also lamenting about not knowing the price when the perfectly reasonable non-1st class ticket holder asked. “I don’t pay for first class, so…”.

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@SW_Help Whats worse than someone being chucked out of 1st class? The guard blaming the person that’s paid 1st class (me). “If no one had paid that would be a different story. But as someone has paid then you need to leave”. 1945 WAT to Haslemere. Give the guard my regards. Prat.

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@Schiphol One.. yes one ‘non EU’ border control agent for about 1500 passengers. Absolutely unacceptable. 2 hours in the queue and counting, after a 45 minute flight. What happened to the auto gates? Got bags over all of them!! 🤷‍♂️

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@SW_SquadHelp I can kind of understand how impersonating someone of authority might be a kick… but impersonating South Western Railways? 🤣🤣🤣

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@SW_Help Confused by your enforcement officers. Person gets through entry gates, guards and the gate at the destination only for a manual ticket check which obviously is fine (or the gates wouldn’t open, right)? Didn’t see one issue in about 50 people today.

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@SW_SquadHelp 🤣🤣

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@Surreyheath @DVSAgovuk @DVLAgovuk This shitter has been parked by the Coop in Lightwater for over 2 weeks. It’s amusing as it managed to loose 100,000 miles between the last 2 MOTs. Front tyres are balder than my scalp. No tax.Any chance we can get shot? Or is red tape required?

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@TheNorthFaceUK After the strap on my Router bag broke I’m a bit miffed to discover it only has a 2 Year warranty!! Surely I could expect an unbranded Amazon bag to last that long, let alone a £120 North Face one! I’ve had it 4 years, light use. Unimpressed!

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@SW_Help Guys you’ve got to sort the machines out at Woking. 1 million people trying to exit. One gate out of use, another one with the QR reader taped off. Absolute scrum!! Surely just open the gates if you can’t allow people to legit get out, can’t have it both ways 🤷‍♂️

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@CitizenUddin @British_Airways To be fair if she’s able to hijack the plane with two knitting needles and a half finished sweater, then she probably deserves it

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@BorisBacic Came across this today on the Isle Of Wight.. took me right back to Radio Tower. Such an epic, atmospheric read! https://t.co/jAiPEEqGha #iow

[The Matt Dean @Matt_N_Dean]

@anon_opin Additionally whenever you get an American onto the subject of humour, they will generally say “yes I love Monty PY – T H O N”. It’s kind of endearing in a way 😆