The Last Swaggbender

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

When I get up in the middle of the night to check on a noise I heard

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

Long Live Gus 🕊️😓💔

[Kurrco @Kurrco]

R.I.P. LIL PEEP
8 years ago today 🕊️

Nov 1, 1996 — Nov 15, 2017

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

@BBGreatMoments @johnkensil

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

Comedy open mics will be studied

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

RFK JR has just said at Trump's Cabinet meeting: We will know by September what caused the Autism Epidemic in the US

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

To my cat right before cutting her nails

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

DO NOT RETALIATE AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

When you don’t confirm their Venmo name before you hit send:

[PBD Podcast @PBDsPodcast]

The U.S. government reportedly transferred $239 million to the Taliban by mistake according to BRICS News

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

DMX will never know his music was used in an Applebee’s commercial

[NastyLilBBGRL09 @sarahbelluhmmm]

I was playing around with some AI art for a flyer, I put in “comedian…” and it put out bunch of standard looking dudes. Then I tried “female comedian” and the output is some of the ugliest looking chicks I ever seen. WTH AI?!? Like goddam 😂

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

How has no one in #HouseOfTheDragon painted racing stripes on their dragon yet?

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

#PresidentialDebate2024

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

@pulte It’s washed

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

Buy tickets to this show

[NastyLilBBGRL09 @sarahbelluhmmm]

Since likes are private posting this again now that you can like it without your gf seeing 👀

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

When they told us Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore, we should have vaporized it like in Star Wars

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

Jokic in every interview:

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

Rappers always: no snitching no rats.

Rappers when they beef: I’m gonna tell everyone everything you’ve ever done

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

@Info4Days What were the stock numbers?

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

@sarahbelluhmmm 👀

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

@itzzody @snkr_twitr Fire 🔥 . How’d you beat the boss?

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

(To the tune of “hit me baby one more time)

Go shor-ty, it’s ya birthday

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

How does everyone in horror movies have a high enough bed to hide under and also they don’t store anything under their bed??

[The Last Swaggbender @Matt_Swaggerty]

Let’s make getting CTE more inclusive

[Complex Sports @ComplexSports]

This is a game changer 🔥

Gallaudet University and AT&T have partnered to create the first-ever accessible helmet for deaf and hard-of-hearing football players.