Matt Smith

I like Kirby. I also play too many video games

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Avatar by @joshcornillon

[Zach Schonfeld @zzzzaaaacccchhh]

Student protesters were right about segregation in the early '60s, right about Vietnam in the late '60s, right about apartheid in the '80s, right about Iraq in 2003, and right about wealth inequality in 2011. Seems generally bad to side against student movements.

[Jordan / sunny 18 @thatgayyybitch]

me everyday since i started listening to chappell roan

[wint @dril]

nonchalantly wearing a pink sweater vest while plowing out my wife during a 4.7 magnitude earth quake

[Kazembe Balagun @Bronxbanlieue]

Eric Adams about to send 500,000 cops to the earth’s core.

[Matt Smith @Matt_____Smith]

@TeaGuvnor I'm so happy you achieved this without buying Midas ONCE

[Jorts (and Jean) @JortsTheCat]

The CDC is now recommending that if you begin to die, you should work overtime to fit in as many hours as possible first

[Patrick Klepek 🎃 @patrickklepek]

Miserable company who, at every turn, has treated its employees like trash. Rotten management that will never receive the punishment they justly deserve. The c-suite will do just fine, and focus on the next corpse to rip apart.

[Paul Blest @pblest]

If people think Vice mgmt’s incompetence is exaggerated: At one point they were seemingly spending 90% of the snack budget on milk. Every time our union committee met my NY coworkers would talk about how much milk there was. Around this time they just stopped paying for PACER

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

POV: you’re walking around high in public and everyone knows

[TheBossRoss 🇪🇺 🧶 ❄ 📷 6x💉 @BettinaSRoss1]

Over 1,000 private jets flew to Las Vegas for the Super Bowl and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

[Matt Smith @Matt_____Smith]

@nytimes This table is labeled wrong?

[Tom Cecil @scopgieb]

They should make a Hot Ones where 3/4 of the way through, they accuse the guest of sexual misconduct

[TeaGuvnor 🇺🇦 @TeaGuvnor]

me as a 3/18/9 support collecting mvp after a win for:

- 1 dust leading to kill
- 9 assists
- 2000 support gold

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

Jesus: [holding up bread] this is my flesh

Guy Who Owns an Air Fryer: you can reheat that perfectly in an air fryer, I use mine for everything

[Gamechamp @Gamechamp3k]

husband: for christmas I got you this hairbrush
wife: oh no! I sold my hair so I could get you a ticket to see the great clown pagliacci
husband: but wife

[Jane Schoenbrun @sapphicspielbrg]

Only 14 days until Mickey Mouse can make up for 95 years of not sucking and fucking by sucking and fucking to his hearts delight

[h @ipodmacbook]

yeah im excited for dune 2.. dune 2 others as i would have them dune 2 me