Definitely Not Vegas

Hydrogeologist / Amatuer Particle Physicist / Whiskey Connoisseur. Known for Keepin' it 1000. Known for placing terrible bets

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

@TexAgs Let’s go

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

Fuck Philly and everyone (except Doug, love you buddy) who supports them. #KnicksTape

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

I aspire to have the confidence of a 5’2” tall chubby man with a Louis Vuitton fanny pack. Like bruh, trash cans are taller then you.

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

Emotional cheating??? Bruh, just cry to your girl, what the fuck? Why you need to bring in witnesses??

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

This new iPhone update is ass cheeks

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

It’s just great to see that baseball and hotdogs, excuse me “all beef franks” survived the pandemic. Real underrated victory against Covid.

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

I think the worst thing about death is all the dope music you are probably going to miss out on.

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

One thing that really irks me is how clothes get dirty after one use. Like, it’s 2022.

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

@jalenbrunson1 Ketchup or Mustard (or relish) on your hotdog?

[🛒♡ ʝȶ ♥︎🛒 @92in1]

what the hell did Jehovah even witness

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

I’m just going to say it - Rumors by Fleetwood Mac is one of the best albums ever manifested by humans (outside of Led Zeppelin’s entire discography) Happy Memorial Day ✌️

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

Even though I’ve never smoked an entire cigarette, I’m slowly thinking adulthood is just going through the day thinking: “fuck, I bet this is why people smoke cigarettes and why do I suddenly have the urge to want a cigarette”.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Biden’s mistake is that he thinks he was elected to transform the country, but actually everyone just wanted less drama

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

@DegMaly I literally ask myself this every single time. Does it feel so good because it’s just so bad?! I don’t know, I don’t know but damn if I don’t keep trying to figure it out.

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

Where’s the camera on Mattress Mack?

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

Everyone’s talking about Beckham and his Bitcoin payment but has anyone checked on the homie who gave that football back to Brady for one?

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

As a completely straight man, marrying the woman of my dreams later this year, I would kiss Al Michaels on the lips if it meant I never had to listen to Cris Collinsworth talk about football ever again.

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

Can someone live stream the fight tonight? Asking for myself.

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

@elonmusk Nice

[Definitely Not Vegas @MatthewJacksson]

@greg16676935420 @elonmusk Nice