Matt

always on the verge of tears

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

a year with very little beer but a whole lot of shampoo

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

@prestonjones @ATTStadium I read this as The Plano Man and wondered who could have come from Plano and play the death star

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

can @YETICoolers help a 10 year old out?

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

my face id isn't recogizing me for some reason

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

taco bell: open until 4

us: arrive at 3 to find out the are only doing doordash orders

us:

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

@MoDonJon @Andylanger we’re all just trying to live here man

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

@stupidbitch69_ @ITYSL_memes @ITYSL @chlobotics

[olivia 🦇 @sewerwolfs]

me looking at these blink 182 ticket prices

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

@aceCourtBot2 @mttdiazz @meegaaannn @Memebatti @Nam1elle @SGaurav17 @HOTDsource @HBO @chlobotics

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

super cleared up thanks

[House of the Dragon @HouseofDragon]

The bloodline continues.

Discover more: https://t.co/DhLl006BQr

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

the replies to this tweet are all me so if you have a relationship with me, i’m sorry bc when i would get in trouble as a child i felt the need to over explain the reasons why i was innocent but that made me look overly guilty and omg i’m doing it again please help

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

my toxic trait: thinking i could take down a full grown deer

[james @phan1om_]

y’all… lmaooo

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

missed my exit, did not know maps would be such a dick about it

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

lady has all the info. let me know which house is giving free drugs out, for research purposes only thank you

[The Good Liars @TheGoodLiars]

This woman thinks drug dealers are handing out fentanyl on Halloween. Why? Because Fox News told her.

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

@ktfuntweets is the new show like an adult tour?

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

THE MEXICAN PIZZA IS OVERRATED

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

What in the World could this guy have said??

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

keep that thang on me

[manny @mannyfidel]

October 1st you know what time it is

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

that day you dress for the heat but you walk to your car and realize you need a light sweater but you don't turn around bc you're late so you crank the heat on in your car and it has ✨that✨ smell

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

@NostalgiaSpicy @ClaraGoodwinTV @ITYSL_memes

[Matt @MatthewValdez83]

qq my gf and i love flat iron steaks and we also love large glasses of water could we get both served to us and then maybe you could just walk away thanks

[Clara Goodwin @ClaraGoodwinTV]

Hi this is my husband’s restaurant and we spent months coming up with these names please go see him they’re all very delicious 🥲