Max Beneke

I’m the man of my dreams

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@ScriptsByJames @FantasyPros Foreman/white/kittle

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@colettearrand Baby Rosemary, Mrs. Grudge, Blair Elizabeth Witch…

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@tentwentysixpm @breyyyattt @colettearrand Seconded!

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@breyyyattt This one always bothered me

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@ericthesmith I lost a follower for this. The pruning is beginning

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

All things in moderation, even ass-play

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

Been pretty worried about the debt ceiling lately 😕

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@breyyyattt @colettearrand A real warrior allows his prey the illusion of agency, thus savoring the final blow ever more

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@breyyyattt @colettearrand Brett if I come, can I challenge you to a duel?

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

Thinking about a race horse named “Bridezilla”

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@mrjasongore I once superglued myself to Wilber and Orville Wright’s prototype airplane because only the Lord should exist among the heavens

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

Business idea: Cocaine for Ghosts

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

“Elon Musk” is an anagram for “Suk Melon” and I just don’t think enough people seem to care

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

Ant Man 2

[eric eidelstein @ericeidelstein]

You're dating someone new and you have the opportunity to show them one movie that encompasses everything there is to know about you — your values, your fantasies, and your fears. What's the film?

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@grabbyelle Wave 1: Slutty
Wave 2-3: Practical

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

@breyyyattt You should’ve done your impression of a normal man. And then just keep doing that forever please

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

Me: I’m in my villain era 😈

Also me: thinking about switching to decaf cuz of my anxiety🙃

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

Wow I did NOT have B14 on my 2022 bingo card

-A confused elderly gentleman

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

He sat so she could stand😍😍

[Max Beneke @MaxBeneke]

Damn I think I missed the Brexit vote. What did we all decide??