Maximiliano Berger

Born in Moscow, I was taken as prisoner by a communist militant brigade. I slowly worked my way to commander of that same fleet and led them to many victories.

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

Lowk forgot i was 5'6 till I found out ive been wearing a woman's small shirt #couldvekeptthistweettomyself

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

Gave the spotify dj thing a try for the first time damn at least now I know why I dont use that hot garbage

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

Went to my go-to shit spot at work and walked in on somebody who didn't lock the door. I dont even wanna shit anymore.

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

Gun to my head name 3 Beatles songs. "But they're the most popular band of all time" Just pull the trigger im dead.

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

I have my boss telling me about my hippa violations, mf worry about yourself like the fact you look like a hippo

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

So drake just dropped and my only criticism so far is I wished I had something better than shitty airpods to listen to this peak with

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

Watch out the Saab is back on the road. Smoke comes out the dashboard and the engine violently misfires but the only thing that matters is that those secret compartments still work

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

I dropped the chicken cutlet down the garbage disposable and still ate it cause im a super gremlin

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

I just wanna say Congratulations to the people that live right above me!!! They got the world record for first people to ever host both a marathon and a bowling tournament in a standardized apartment. How amazing! Right when I would like to be asleep, wow good job guys,keep it up

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@Chris458854 Yeah brother I feel you, killing a lite beer with every meal for my blood sugar and honestly loving the differences I've been feeling.

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 Yup been there done that on the life is meaningless shit, Frank Kaminsky ain't saving any of my teams anytime soon.

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 Thats some wolverine shit Rick, no laws on the claws. Awesome

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 Let's get those kids to fill out the empty march madness bracket on the wall too, they'd probably do better than everyone else at this rate

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 Yeah vintage for sure. Nowadays vintage means if a dead person was wearing it in their coffin you'd look at it and be like "yeah that's vintage"

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 The bars at my city are still playing the games from 5 years ago, but hey they got a sick ticker showing all the scores I dont give a fuck about so hey

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 I participated and also like beer. Kickback sometime soon bro?

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 Dude, im kinda having the opposite effect. Im shaking going to bed knowing im going to wake up sober. Scary life we live in

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 Libraries are honestly just an optional building in life. When have you ever willingly brought yourself to a library. Maybe I blew in from stupid town but I feel like im not alone on this one.

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

@RichJohnson911 Fuck Rick, where were my invitations to the last two kickbacks? Third one im there, just lmk.

[Maximiliano Berger @Maximillano5555]

Back from a long night of abusing alcohol and come back to a extra egg bagel sandwich my Jamaican roommate made. Life is good man, not joking best food experience of my life.