marissa

[Jill Filipovic @JillFilipovic]

A green light for men to murder their pregnant partners and psychos to shoot up abortion clinics. And an important insight into just how much these "pro-lifers" value women's lives.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Correct 💯

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

My wife and I eloped, but a month later we had a small party to celebrate with family and friends. Somewhere on the invitation we wrote, “bring an appetite,” which my wife’s Uncle Jerry misread as “bring an appetizer.” He showed up at the venue with a crockpot of enchiladas.

[Mia♡ @luxemiaa]

Club culture will be a thing again if yall start hiring them TikTok DJs, bring back ladies free before 11, outlaw party promoters and make drinks under $20 again

[Mads @europemaxxed]

Realizing it was me who didn't text back

[mr. luckshit eyebrows @nonbinaryfenris]

I honestly don't think the average person can count calories without becoming completely and totally neurotic about it

[M Bleu @soymbleu]

El día que fuimos a pactar la manutención de mi hija, su papá dijo:

“Yo no la mandé a vivir en estrato 4.
Yo no la mandé a que la metieran en un colegio privado”.

Me molestó mucho, porque hay personas tan escasas a nivel mental y emocional que no logran entender algo tan simple: un padre debería alegrarse de que sus hijos estén bien y de que alguien quiera darles lo mejor.
Hay papás que creen que la cuota de alimentos es un favor que le hacen a la mamá, pero no es así. Eso hace parte del bienestar y de los derechos de sus hijos.
Y algo tengo muy claro: con o sin sus aportes, como mamás siempre vamos a querer darles lo mejor a nuestros hijos.

[Will Bredderman @WillBredderman]

Worst of all, gym classes are making them run miles an Uber could cover in less than a minute.

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

Being 26 is weird because you feel like you're 21, till you meet someone whose 21 and realize how much 5 years can do to you

[Jani Gem 🌶 @Jani__Gee]

There are so many happily married men on the internet giving free game and 9/10x the advice boils down to “hey, be really sweet to your lady and do nice for things for her sometimes” lmao

[Maryam @hell_line0]

Sometimes male anger at ‘women getting special treatment’ reminds me of a gorilla experiment.
One gorilla gets a banana every hour. The females next to him get one every four hours. Then someone decides to be ‘fairer’ and gives the females a banana every two hours instead. The original gorilla? He flips out. He’s still getting his banana every hour, but it feels like a loss because his advantage shrank.
That’s how a lot of men react to basic fairness for women: not as justice, but as theft.

[💗 @ma1ybe]

My classmate was raped on her way back home from university and got pregnant, but couldn’t get an abortion due to the laws. She had to drop out of university where she was studying medicine. Because of pregnancy and childbirth expenses, she couldn’t continue her studies, left college, started working at a coffee shop, lost the fun of her early twenties, and lost the chance to attend international medical conferences she once dreamt of… all just to give birth to a child she never wanted.
People say, “What if the baby you abort grows up and cures cancer?”
Okay — but what if the 19-year-old you deny an abortion to grows up and cures cancer?
Now she can’t afford to get an education. Instead, she has to take care of a baby. What about her? An actual living human being???
“Abortion ends potential life”… So do property disputes, war, and genocide. You only seem to care about lives when women don’t give birth to them.

[Andrew Lokenauth @FluentInFinance]

A $400K mortgage is now $3,000/month.

A $400K mortgage was $1,500/month in 2021.

$1,500 more each month for the same home.

[Essential Mastery @EssentialMastry]

When Nietzsche said;
“I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company.”

[PS @dostoevesque]

You have to stop treating it like a performance where you are trying to become the best version of yourself. It is not theatre. It is not self transformation day after day. You do it the way you brush your teeth. It is not about liking or disliking it. It is simply something you do.

The moment you frame working out as a heroic arc, you introduce emotion into it. Motivation, inspiration, identity, self judgment. That makes it unstable. Some days you will feel like the protagonist. Most days you will not.
But brushing your teeth requires no identity. No inspiration. No self analysis.

It is maintenance. When exercise becomes maintenance rather than self-improvement theatre, it becomes lighter. Less ego. Less pressure. Less evaluation.

[Gillian Branstetter @GBBranstetter]

Who was it that said "if you live in a 15 minute city but your barista has an hour-long commute you don't live in a city; you live in an amusement park"

[JT @jiratickets]

When you ask an emploid if they wanna go day drinking and they hit you with that W2 stare

[Mack @kenzietuff]

You should name your sons as if they will be kings and you should name your daughters as if they will be named in the beautifully written prose of future fairytales.

[Piss Nixon @pissnixon]

Friend of mine was roommates with an Amish kid who defected during his Rumspringa

The guy was prone to fits of rage and his vocabulary was like 75 words max. Stuff like "We build supper now?"

He got way into meth and they had to kick him out

[Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L]

Clavicular was mid felonygooning when a prisonmaxxing policeoid justice mogged him