TheFather

As a Dad with a young lady toddler.. the things in life I never would have thought would come out of my mouth as a sentence.

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“Daddy, why is it easier to get into pyjamas than to get dressed?”
“......”
@PaternityFrat #thatsdeep @parenthoodperks

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“Here’s another conversation card - describe what life in the future will be like?”
“Snakes.”@PaternityFrat #ToddlerLife #daddaughter

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

3 year old: “daddy I’m thirsty can I have some champagne?” (Elderflower cordial with zero sugar)
“No that’s enough”
“BUT ITS MOTHERS DAAAAAY” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #MothersDay

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“No no NOOOOOO LADYBIRDS DONT EAT CHEESE” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #howtodad

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

Putting together some IKEA furniture for her.
“Darling the sides are lovely, don’t they look like mermaid fins or sea shells?!”
“No daddy it looks like a bed.” @PaternityFrat #ToddlerLife #DaddyDaughter #howtodad

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

Enjoying pancakes for Sunday breakfast as a treat.
“Hey darling an eyelash has fallen, if you blow it you can make a wish;and wish for anything you want!”
“Yaaaay!”
*UHHHH PFFFFFFFFFFF*
“Well done what did you wish for?”
“More pancakes!!” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

Sitting on the bus together, suddenly, very loudly.
“DADDY WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE NO HAIR?”
Everyone turns to look.
She points to emphasise. #embarrassing #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife @PaternityFrat

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“It’s your birthday tomorrow darling what do you want?!”
“Someone to slap me in the face.”
“...what???!..” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #DadLife #toddler

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“Stop picking your nose you!”
“No daddy it’s a dirty bertie and I can wipe on my jumper”
Dad: “what is a dirty bertie?”
Mum: “we need to talk to the nursery...” @PaternityFrat #toddler #DaddyDaughter #howtodad

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“I love you”
“I.. I ..I ..I love the swimming pool”@PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #DadLife

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“Darling do you need a poo? Come on let’s go to the toilet?”
“NO I NOT NEED IT”
Eyes lock together as a powerful and suspicious smell arises... #daddaughter #DadLife @PaternityFrat #toddler

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

Across the magic of FaceTime:
“You can see daddy if you put on some trousers and then come over here”
“NO TROUSERS! YUK!” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #toddler #dadLife #PatFrat

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“I’ve told you before STOP TELLING OFF THE CAT AND DON’T GET INVOLVED”
“It’s MY CAT DADDY, NOT YOUR ONE.” #DaddyDaughter #toddler #dadLife @PaternityFrat

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“Daddy draw something please”
“Sure what do you want, a cow, a whale, a pig?”
“No, a man picking up a bin.”#dadLife #toddler #daddydaughtertime @PaternityFrat

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“What’s going on?”
“The squid and the duck are fighting for sweets”@PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #TheFather

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“We’re going on holiday - do you want to ride a pony there?”
“NO.”
“.....”
“a HORSE.” @PaternityFrat #dadlife #toddler #DaddyDaughter

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“DO NOT SNATCH THE SPYGLASS BACK FROM THE LITTLE GIRL.”
“It’s her turn.”@PaternityFrat #daddyslittlegirl #toddler #DaddyDaughter

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

Sitting at home eating dinner, looking at the garden. “Daddy, the bamboo..” “what about it darling?” “It’s got monkeys in it.” #monkeys #toddler #howtodad #daddaughter

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“Yes fine you can have the mangrove seed.” #ToddlerLife #DaddyDaughter #dadlife #toddler

[TheFather @MeantimeDad]

“If you’re a good girl and brush your teeth you can have a look at your poo.” #toddler #dadjokes #dadlife #potty