Maria Hampton

If a girl can put up with you through your worst days, and still stick with you and your mistakes, then you shouldn't let her go

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

Yeah, bitches! I just sharpened a pencil with a KNIFE. I feel like such a man. I'm gonna go show my mom. BRB

[Janelle McDermott @fvaskovskaya]

Beauty lies in the eyes of beer holder.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

In bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school it's 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

I'm pretty sure fat people cry on purpose so they can taste their tears.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

That awkward moment, when someone get hurt and you laugh ,then you realize that its serious.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

*Low battery* *Low battery* *Low battery* Well apparently you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

Loyal women deserve the best!

[Donna Payne @butyrskikhdari1]

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!

[Dorothy Vasquez @dzudtsova98]

POLICE OFFICER: "How high are you?" ME: "No officer. It's 'Hi, how are you?'"

[Helen McPherson @mberenis1]

Fake friends just wanna know your business to tell your business.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

That one ex you don't want the world to know you dated.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

Gave my son a pocketknife & the crybaby cut himself. So I'm dyeing his hair black & disguising him as an emo kid before his mom gets home.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

People need to worry about their own life and not whats going on with others

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

I cant stand when people say a baby's age in months after a year old, the parent is like "yeah he's 29 months old. Like, seriously?

[Emily Lamb @0_pmoiseychenko]

Dont worry if you cant remember what happened, Facebook will forever.

[Donna Payne @butyrskikhdari1]

Kicking ice cubes under the fridge when they hit the floor.

[Maria Hampton @MechislavPepkin]

I'm so good at sleeping, I can even do it with my eyes closed.