Melanie Selwyn

Queens Girl

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@Pia_2b What's happening Hot Stuff?

[Patrick @patrickmarkryan]

Even if I got to hold the Royal Baby I'd be like "okay take this baby back" after like 45 seconds

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Twitter to me is like having a big wall, millions of cats & a laser pointer.
Such fun.
And the biggest gorps get a lot of exercise. Haha.

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@BrunoMars That was a crazy awesome show in Jersey tonight. Thank you!!!!

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

The setting: A toy store. The audience: Children. The stakes: The future of humanity. Choose wisely.

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@Pershing WOW. Peyton Manning is taller than Brian Shea!

[Troll Cat 🇺🇦 @2p2TrollCat]

My primary duty as a parent is making sure that my child knows - no matter what others say or what she may see or hear- that Han shot first.

[Anna Kendrick @AnnaKendrick47]

Ugh - NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered "inappropriate"

[Jon Favreau @Jon_Favreau]

#LesMis is a great first date movie if you consider crying like an abandoned baby on a doorstep a good icebreaker.

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

Overheard: "That tingly sensation when you really like someone? That is common sense, leaving your body."

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@rickygervais @thegodofmma I'll be the God of Spelling and Grammar..It's 'awkward'. Praise be.

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@rickygervais Here's one for you. Cheers!

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@SethMacFarlane sadder still is the panic when that noise wakes you up and the cat is next to your face in bed at 5am. #truestory #gross

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

New Zealand is releasing Hobbit themed coins that are legal tender. And the metal used to mint them is...precious.

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@rickygervais Tell him the cat will watch sports with him!

[Melanie Selwyn @MellaJade]

@PersistentID That's no moon!! Fantastic.

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Opinions don't affect facts.
But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Romney prepped for tonight’s debate by debating with a man whose views differ radically from his own: himself from 8 years ago.

[Go to Bluesky to save your brain -- L O L G O P @LOLGOP]

Gingrich says Todd Akin is running against the "machine," which must be what he calls the vagina.