Shelly Warners

Treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Holy shit, did @MBoudet just Room us at the beginning of the #Spooktacular ?

#ohhimark

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

I'm at Mike And Erin's Cove Of Wonders in Grand Rapids, MI w/ @clappr https://t.co/lQrI8xIK35

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

I kinda wish you'd pronounce it "wellow" forever.

#lizziebit #elizabetheileen #photobydaddy #dandelion #yellowflower #icantbelieveshesalmosttwo https://t.co/PvoVZ4v20f

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Oh hey Twitter. Just popped in to remind you... Ya girl can cook.

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

I'm not ready for this to be over! What an absolute pleasure of a book. I'm so glad I went with the audio as it's read by @lauraclery herself. Beautiful stories, hilarious, honest and gut wrenching. Do yourself a… https://t.co/0hzJkuz6Zl

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

What would you do with your $50,000? I just entered the LMCU Home Makeover Sweepstakes with the 1st prize of $50,000, 2nd prize of $15,000, and 3rd prize of $5,000! https://t.co/CcvNGOvB9H

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

I just entered for a chance to win 2 tickets to see Kathleen Madigan at 20 Monroe Live on March 21st! https://t.co/3EWU1m0WZm

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Yessssss! My favorite thing is listening to @Jimmypisfunny and @WhismanSucks shit on Arizona for almost 3 hours on @MurderSmall #formerarizonan #fuckthatplace #gonnabeagoodday

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Yes. (at @Johnny_Rads Pizzeria Tavern in Baltimore, MD) https://t.co/80NkBsjO0a

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

I hope you haven't already been shown this a thousand times @sarahhisfunny, but as a fellow Mummy aficionado, I know you'll appreciate this. #themummy #thememey

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

I'm a bit behind on @CrimeInSports so forgive my belated comment, but I could listen to @Jimmypisfunny and @WhismanSucks list porn titles for an entire episode. This is gold. #imcryinglaughing #crimeinsports

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Andy's daughters playing his Mothers piano.

#sisters #grandmaspiano #elizabetheileen #kayminjune #❤️ @ Ovid, Michigan https://t.co/Dx47ODSfpK

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Just spent the last hour and a half trying to explain to my boyfriend how important Joe Sell was to @luckyboysmusic

Fuck. I miss my boys.

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

So sad to say goodbye to one of the greatest dogs that ever existed. Rest in peace, Georgie. #georgeclooneythedog #dogdog #georgie #goodboy https://t.co/mUpwdhnQES

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Tonight, I hugged Kevin Smith. My life is complete. #JayAndSilentBobReboot

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Leaving work early so I can lose my mind over the fact that in a few short hours, I will be in the same room as @ThatKevinSmith and @JayMewes #snoogins #holyshit #meetyourhero

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Just pre-ordered my signed by @chelcielynnn copy of the Trailer Trash Tammy R rated calendar. Giving it to my boyfriend for Christmas because I give majestic ass gifts and he LOVES titties. #majesticaf #namestammy

[Susanna Hoffs @SusannaHoffs]

I think I sound best singing when no one’s listening

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

In bed before nine so I can lay awake and devour my copy of Disgraceland! Just a few pages in and I can hear the voice and cadence of @theejakebrennan. So fucking good.

Totally buying… https://t.co/tMLgqAEvQs

[Shelly Warners @Mello_Shello]

Visiting San Diego for the weekend and it's my dream to run into @chelcielynnn or her sisters. #iknowitsabigcity #agirlcandream