Sanpei

I'm sorry what's that? I can't hear you over the sound of my deafening awesomeness.

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

How to save a life seems like it should be easier than...name any Fray song.

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

@AriiiAppleBum Because sometimes paper cuts are more annoying then just being stabbed?

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

Just watched American Beauty for the first time, now I think I finally understand the plot to @katyperry song Firework

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

If Stockholm syndrome is a thing? I'm going to find that perfect woman and attempt to woo her. #dreamwife @JenLawrenceCrew

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

Instead of murdering the woman at the movie theater for carding me for deadpool 2 I watched clerks instead. Thank you @ThatKevinSmith. #idomthatwomenanditqasacoincidenseahewasblack #shewasbeingracist #asians #roahlddahl #almonds #somelivesmatter #chucktesta #staygoldponyboy

[Eric Vale @ericvale]

Current mood:

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

@jessmmruiz You're kind of cunt. But you're hot so I guess it's cool🌭

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

@bryanburris this dog is in need of some goggles.

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

@bryanburris You have some pretty ass-tronomical dreams. If your childhood dream had been to go to space you could have worked for nASSa.

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

"I might have said large penis." - My mom at dinner

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

.@bryanburris You need to status update those diarrhea incidents bro that's what social media is for. #Milkshakes

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

Him Gaffigan #ComedianBands

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

"Well at least it's clean water. I think."-Plumber who fixed my flooded bathroom. #optimism #GlassHalfFull #ToiletTooFull

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

@bryanburris There are no goggles in this. #disappointment

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

RT if you're bleeding or wearing a hat.

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

Wasn't sure how I felt about today but hearing Call Me Maybe remixed in a mexican restaurant makes leaving the house worth it.

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

Got off work in time to grab the last copy. #recordstoreday @teganandsara

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

Happy birthday @bryanburris. I think Denny's gives you a free meal on your birthday. Remember when you threw up Denny's?

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

@Trevour4 This waiter's accent is so thick that "white rice or brown rice" sound exactly the same. Fingers crossed I get white.

[Sanpei @Merkstar56]

@Trevour4 and be weary of the leaves you use for toilet paper. #allergyproblems #complacenthobo