Bryan Burris

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

I’d make a great politician because I am good at rolling my sleeves up and pretending to look busy.

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

In high school, Boomers told me not to get on MySpace because it would ruin my computer. Then they all got on Facebook and ruined their brains.

[Westside Comedy @westsidecomedy]

Open mic. Stand-up. Improv. We have it all tonight. 🎟️ Tix at https://t.co/8W9gQXCJW9!

@JoeWongComedy @ItsBrittBrit @CJSullivan_ @wallybaram @bryanburris #improv #losangeles #standup

[Westside Comedy @westsidecomedy]

2 stand-up shows. 2 chances to laugh your way into the weekend. 🎟️ Get tix at https://t.co/8W9gQXCJW9

@ajfaji @DanaMoonme @Andrew_Orolfo @juicygena @andywoodhull @MonareyM @TheLifeofKay @NoahBuiltTheARK @TheSofiya @bryanburris @RealCourtHaynes @LukeMones @shannonleeeigh #standup

[Westside Comedy @westsidecomedy]

8pm & 10pm stand-up tonight with 2 great lineups! No drink minimum. 🎟️ Tix at https://t.co/8W9gQXCJW9

@bryanburris @jennyzigrino @wallybaram @GregFitzShow @jenmurphycomedy @thedanielwebb @Biancacristovao @LuciePohlComedy @CJSullivan_ @juicygena @JoeWongComedy @PallaviGunalan

[NEEM @kneemund]

I feel so lucky to be in LA rn. So many comics who are worthy of the highest billing are always performing. If you think comedy isn’t in a good place , go see @NILES100 @AliceRHamilton @comedianarthur @kylerehl @bryanburris @SCarter724 Kalea McNeil and man so many others

[Westside Comedy @westsidecomedy]

2 stand-up shows tonight. Come on by for laughs. TIX AT https://t.co/WjN0jwp0Uv

@lboeck20 @DaveMerheje @SandyDanto @taqweet @Andrew_Orolfo @AmySilverberg @bryanburris @martinMmorrow @Mattyfontana13 @lisa_curry @hypeman #losangeles #santamonica #standup

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

California fans are built different.

[Hollywood Improv @HollywoodImprov]

Tonight at 7:30 in The Lab Ill-Prepared Comedy featuring @rachelwolfson @bryanburris @katrinasivad @WhateverKalea @BenNickelson @MattCatanzano & @MatDannimal Get tickets while they last at https://t.co/2zDeuaxUJc #hollywoodimprov #comedy

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

@kneemund Worked at a golf course in high school that would regularly get tore up by wild pigs. I’d come over a hill on my golf cart and hundreds of them would scatter. Always terrifying.

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

Happy Halloween!

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

Professional wrestling and Medieval Times are more similar than we have been led to believe.

[David Murphy @ByDavidMurphy]

Playoff baseball is like watching a loved one defuse a bomb

[Westside Comedy @westsidecomedy]

HALF OFF DRINKS WITH YOUR UNION CARD THIS SUNDAY 💪🏽
🎟 Tix at https://t.co/8W9gQXkAI1

#losangeles #comedy #standup @AmySilverberg @TheFumiAbe @MateenStewart @lisa_curry @chineducomedy @bryanburris @LeahBonnema @thejohnhastings @ChrisEstrada85 @PallaviGunalan @SeanGrantWords

[America’s Got Talent @AGT]

Give it up for the comedy stylings of @Aikotanaka! 👏 #AGT https://t.co/12540x6ABt

[Westside Comedy @westsidecomedy]

8pm or 10pm? (There's no wrong answer.) No drink minimums. Tickets available at https://t.co/8W9gQXCc6B!

#standup #LosAngeles #comedy #santamonica

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

As a bald person I understand why he did it.

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

Putting a mask on immediately after applying Burt’s Bees feels just like being pepper sprayed in the face.

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

@dchav12 @JessePfeil @MyGolfSpy @Titleist I still use this bad boy

[Bryan Burris @bryanburris]

In the new Jurassic Park, Chris Pratt teaches the dinosaurs about Christianity.