Merrilee Murphy

Just your average mom tweeting all the weird, funny things you don't realize about parenthood until you're in the thick of it.

[Julie Roys @reachjulieroys]

Sociology professor and pastor @RyanBurge notes that Jesus was especially concerned with the poor and marginalized in society

But data shows churches today have become an enclave for middle-class people with college degrees, who are married with children
https://t.co/6oUXkzOqNl

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

@Lin_Manuel is the people's therapist now #Encanto #notsomegiftjustyou

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

@TMobileHelp I clicked but not sure it worked. 😊

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

@TMobileHelp we are having trouble with WiFi texting and calling. Help?

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

@TMobile with our plan we should have service in Ireland! Help?

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

@Disneyland we've been in line for 40 minutes waiting to pick up tickets at guest services. There were 3 people in front of us. Can we get more windows open please

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

Got my wedding ring cleaned @MorganJewelers1 @ClackamasTC only to discover they sent it home with the wrong person. They were able to locate my ring & return it, but I was fairly disappointed in their apology gift bag. A few ok things, but mostly random papers from the mall

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

My two year old just asked me to turn the sun off #pnwbaby #portland #kids #ThisIsUs #sobright #sunshine #momcandoanything #supermom #icouldntdothat #sorrydude

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

Ppl say watching TV turns your kid into a psychopath, & that is probably true. But either he goes crazy later or I go crazy now #parenthood

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

After pregnancy and nursing for a year, I'd legitimately started believing I was a busty woman #disallusioned #wheredtheygo #motherhood

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

Everytime someone doesn't immediately smile at my baby I consider them soulless and hateful #ThisIsUs #cutebaby #imbiased #parenthood #momma

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

So. Many. Rhetorical. Questions. #momlife #iknowyoureeatingbutimgonnaaskanyway #ThisIsUs #parenthood #lifewithkids

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

My baby is as good at finding his binkie in his crib as my husband is at finding anything in the fridge. #ThisIsUs #momlife #MarriedLife

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

Basically all my video monitor does is show me that my baby isn't sleeping even tho he's being quiet. #greatinvestment #ThisIsUs #parenting

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

Today I learned that babies can swallow hand sanitizer and be ok. 🙈 #thingididntwanttoknow #momfail #parenthood #ifreakedout #ThisIsUs #oops

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

Baby's wake up time:
Mon: 8:30
Tues: 8:30
Wed: 9 (docs appt at 9:15)
Thur: 8:30
Fri: 8:30
Sat: 6
Sun: 6:15

#parenting #momlife #parenthood

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

There isn't a more helpless feeling in the world than watching your baby poop into a freshly changed diaper. #whycantitstayclean #parenting

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

My baby is apparently going thru a near-death experience. Oh nevermind. He's just supposed to be taking a nap. #sleepisgood #parenthood

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

Usain Bolt's got nothin on my 9 month old #sofast #babylife #Parenthood #ThisIsUs #zoomzoom #whatareyouinto #momlife #boymom #trouble #baby

[Merrilee Murphy @Merrilee_Murphy]

If the article of clothing has 3 or fewer stains, I consider it clean. #momlife #momlifeisthebestlife #newnormal #ThisIsUs #Parenthood #yup