Metallic John

Mkenya Mchukia Ukabila!!

[Omwamba 🇰🇪 @omwambaKE]

Safaricom’s USSD codes *444# and *544# are currently not working.

[World of Engineering @engineers_feed]

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not for iron, which is ironic. Thank you.

[Metallic John @MetallicJ]

https://t.co/geYabZNEH4

[Metallic John @MetallicJ]

@Weyne_west Ebu zima alafu uwashe

[Ole Teya @TeyaKevin]

😂😂😂

[Nahama Alochi - First of his name @NahamaAlochi]

Kenyans are exceptionally peculiar people. And I say this with love, concern, and several years of accumulated frustration.

A Kenyan will happily pay Netflix, Spotify, ChatGPT, and seventeen other foreign companies every month. Some of these subscriptions they haven't used since February. Money leaves their accounts quietly, and life goes on.

Now build a similar product in Kenya and ask for a subscription of KSh 500.

"Ati subscription? Every month? Kwani unaniona aje?"

You explain the value, the features, the infrastructure costs, the fact that software engineers also eat food.

"Wacha nijaribu kwanza for free."

You give them three months free.

Three months later, they want another three months because they were busy during the first three.

Then comes the payment conversation.

"Me, I don't trust Kenyan companies with my card details."

Fair enough. Security is important. But this is the same person whose card is saved on 14 websites abroad, including one that sells AI-generated pictures of cats dressed as Roman emperors.

"Sasa kama sio M-Pesa, staki."

Fine. M-Pesa it is.

Fortunately, Safaricom has a recurring payment solution called Ratiba. Unfortunately, implementing it as a practical subscription model can feel like a punishment for having entrepreneurial ambitions. The costs and complications can make you question whether you should have opened a hardware shop instead.

But suppose you survive all that. You integrate everything. The customer can now subscribe using M-Pesa.

Then you mention automatic deductions.

"ATI UNATAKA KUKATA PESA YANGU AUTOMATICALLY?"

My brother in Christ, what exactly did you think a subscription was? A monthly invitation to negotiate?

"No, just remind me and I'll pay."

So now your SaaS company needs a debt collection department to follow up on KSh 500 subscriptions.

Meanwhile, Netflix deducts KSh 1,000 at 3:47 a.m. and this same Kenyan wakes up to watch a documentary about penguins without questioning the transaction.

And then we gather at conferences, drink expensive coffee, and spend three hours discussing why Kenya isn't producing enough globally competitive technology companies.

We want Kenyan innovation, Kenyan products, Kenyan founders and Kenyan success stories.

We just don't want to pay Kenyan companies.

Especially monthly.

Hapo ndio shida iko.

[AJ @Ajmetax]

1 Thessalonians 5:17

Pray without ceasing

[G-Block 🅱️aby @motionsznn]

The first car to park on the trailer wins , I’ve never been so invested in a sport like this

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

Two strangers realized they had the exact opposite problem: one had a gold Ford F-250 with a silver tailgate, the other a silver F-250 with a gold one.

They pulled into a parking lot, swapped tailgates on the spot, and both drove away with perfectly matching trucks. 😂🛻

[𝐓𝐘 @dev_TEMITAYO]

POV: Software Engineering in 2026 be like 😭

[Raymond @Raymond82310289]

Who agrees?

[TurboDiesel @alexmwanzo]

Grounds walahi

[Kamùdù Dragon @Hey__Z]

Owner needs this unit sold today , I'd appreciate a RT

Landcruiser v8 200 series (KBW registered)
2009 model
Odo at 224,xxx km
Diesel
ASIAN OWNER
Sunroof
Automatic
7 seater
Bullbar
Fully loaded unit

KES 3,300,000
0705150821

[Baba Ramilah ❁ @HeemMufc]

There will be always a video of Dj Shiti you've never watched I swear 😂😂

[Metallic John @MetallicJ]

@mwanzo_k Ukweli mtupu

[GlennØ🇰🇪 @glennotiende]

I sent 50k using swift almost a month ago through @Coopbankenya on 30th June to the United States.

They charged me almost 5k to transfer the cash... Had I known it would have been this exorbitant I wouldn't have done it. Regardless, it's now been almost a month. The funds never reached the recipient. It has just been a month of being taken round in circles. Endless trips to the bank. Have been fruitless..

I was even told to pay a further 600 to reverse the money (comical, since it's the same guys who couldn't send the money to the destination telling me to pay them to reverse it) I am calling on @CBKKenya to help me in this matter. I know 50k is not a lot... But Kwa Mimi mkulima mdogo. That is a lot of cash. Kindly help me by sharing this tweet, so that people can be wary of these crooks in suits

[R E M @REM__BEN]

İşte hayatta böyle dostların olacak

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

CA has introduced a new mandatory licence for businesses importing and distributing phones, routers, modems, and other communication equipment in Kenya.

The new requirement takes effect immediately and also applies to existing importers and distributors

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

A Kenyan court has rejected Zenka Digital's 438% annual interest rate on a digital loan, calling it unfair and excessive.

This comes after the lender sought to recover Sh152,000 from a borrower who had taken a Sh76,000 loan, with the court ruling that Zenka could recover only the loan amount plus limited interest.