MetroFact

A faction promoting metro facts that are in fact not fact.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

To assist local soccer recruitment our @my_metro stations will now be suffixed -on-Thames e.g. Tyne Dock-on-Thames

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Percy Main is named after Percy Main, the Howdon-based wrestler who competed as Kendo Haystacks.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Runners participating in this week’s Venmore mile use your 🎫 to get to 2 for 1 on spikes at Foothold

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

“Free George Jackson” Banksy unveiled at Smith’s Park station

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Last day of our 13% discount offer with Lambton Lion Park.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

In our fight against fare evaders, Donald Trump has negotiated a fabulous deal, some say the best deal, all the most ceverest deal experts, in which fare evaders get free travel and when "caught" everyone standing next to them has to give them £300. bring on the nobel prize

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Following customer feedback, the next raft of @My_Metro trains will contain plum trees.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Thanks to our tariffs on Percy Main and Tyne Dock West Jesmond and Cleadon @my_metro stations have appointed a much-needed second flautist.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

West Jesmond has just proposed to Tyne Dock and he said yes @my_metro #wedding

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

A recent survey suggested 43.4% of @my_metro users routinely measure their urine output using a graduated gravy jug.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

No.1 in the pop charts is Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark with their ditty “Failed pop card registration pylon” such a symphony of distorted honks.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Great news to hear confirmation that the abolition of NHS England will fund Old Trafford becoming The Midlands Tram Museum.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Passengers on new @My_Metro trains are advised that the complimentary soda stream and billiard lounges are now hidden behind the wiggly curtains.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Newcastle fans travelling to the match, tune into @bbc5live @ColinMurray to hear more about the Bergkamp goal that should have been disallowed for the foul on Dabizas.
After the game show your 🎫 to enjoy 2 for 1 on Kleftiko at the Bigg Market’s Simply Greek

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Todays @My_Metro challenge is to approach cats, when encountered, in the manner of an actor of some repute portraying Dracula.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

On the leaky @my_metro

There is a hierarchy of drips
In motion,
dipping through the isthmus,
great globules surge from the bluebottle cages, prisons of light and Calliphoridae.

Static,
the hand pole oozes,
a steady stream of passive gravity plopping on your knee.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

Good morning users, the No. 900 bus is suspended between Monument to South Gosforth in both directions due to students on scooters. A replacement service the @My_Metro train are operating in the affected areas. Please leave more time for your journey.

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

New @My_Metro trains have parental controls limiting them to 1 hour of ticky tok per day

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

BREAKING: Gateshead-wide @My_Metro suspension linked to demolition of the car park featured in Rom Com “Ooh Get Carter”

[MetroFact @MetroFact]

@RupertLowe10 Passengers on @My_Metro Rupert needs your steer, should we cancel cancel culture or is that being too woke to woke. Visit Battle Hill station to vote