COACHEZ MICA

( Dreamer,,, Prayer,,, Believer.
NEWCASTLE UNITED⚽
Youth voice
AMRY

[COACHEZ MICA @Micamreggae]

Nini inakuzuia wewe na mpenzi wako mpigwe pucha kama hii😂 @Kotsocha_ke utapigwa kama hii lini?😂

[𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒍𝒕 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉 @Shadaya_Knight]

Fellas:

Nothing ever justifies hurting or even killing a woman. It is the weakest and stupidest thing you can ever do

You don't own her, she's her own person

She cheated you? - walk away

She dumped you? - walk away

She lied DNA? - walk away

You sacrificed a lot for her, so you think that justifies your actions? What a big fool, you were never forced to sacrifice anything you did. And that's why it's always said give what you're willing to lose, but you didn't listen right?

Any man who hurts or kills a woman or even himself, especially with regards to relationship issues is an idiot

Learn OR perish!!!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

@mbiti_mwondi Omwami nitafutie mzungu kabla zakayo animalize huku

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaiiii, Ruto Must Go!

Chambilecho wahenga, Piga sherehe na umalaya mapema usiilete kwa ndoa. It seems i wasn't present when my kiswahili teacher was giving the true meaning of this misemo bcoz juzi pale Nairobi hospital niki pelekea mama Liam machungwa, i realized that some women were born to shake marriages out here, god must be a Sadist ayaam telling you.
Unajua juzi my best friend Nderi aliweka picha status akiwa maandamano ya madaktari & i noticed the new set of female doctors are all very beautiful. I witnessed it first hand pale Nairobi hospital, yani this intern doctors are all beautiful hadi unatamani mgonjwa akaekae huko kidogo- Woooi Nyasaye, tusame kwa mawazo na vitendo vyetu sisi wakosefu.
There was this fine minji minji doctor with a short hair & wear glasses at NH & since something must kill a man; I had to cast my net. Cabrons, this Ruto's govt should pay doctors their dues with immediate effect, kwa ground madaktari wakona hasira si mchezo. Number nayo nilipewa, lakini hakuna kitu mbaya kama kuonjeshwa replies.
Ukitext sai, reply inakuja after 4 hours, na inakuja na kizungu deadly deadly mameen, it wasn't easy especially from a local man who's an alumni of Cheptenye boys, mahali kizungu ilikua to the nearest Yamune "J for choch & D for Tust" which is exactly what I saw.
One thing about me i don't know how to go through the corners, i usual hit the nail on the head. I shamelessly texted her that "I see my future in your eyes" says a guy who never saw anything kwa microscope in my whole years at Cheptenye boys. I proceed to ask her for a dinner date & she told me "can we raincheck" indigenous man from Sikhendu nikamwambia "inje mvua imeisha, weather ni mzuri ya kahawa moto"- Woooi nyasaye!
She immediately knew she was dealing with a village idiot, she proceeded to torment me more. Eti "Lol,, I don't do coffee, i like hard stuffs , what's your posion set btw". Kijana ya mama Assembly nikasema " Kwani pia kwako kuna panya, for me i normally use indocide mixed with omena juu rat & rat sikuizi haiuwi panya".
It's here that she decided to cut me off completely juu aliona hakuna mahali tunaeza pelekana. She told me goodnight saa tano mchana wajameni, i asked her kwani what's wrong she the told me that she's having a cephalgia but it's acute, she'll text me later.
By the time I was done googling cephalgia kurudi WhatsApp sikua naona Dp tena. Ayaam telling you my brother, William Ruto si mtu, tangu aweke biblia chini it has been raining heavily but all we could see as men is pure Dust.
If this frame of a president ain't a bad omen, then he's definitely a bad omena bcoz he's a reptile, that guy ain't human, hana utu kabisa. PAY DOCTORS THEIR DUES!!!

[COACHEZ MICA @Micamreggae]

@omwambaKE Morning from Nyeri, Karatina wako wapi wa Nyeri tujue tutakunywa wapi kabla Dorokathi na bwanake wakuje

[Omwamba 🇰🇪 @omwambaKE]

5:00 AM

Good morning?

Kama Umeamka Salama Weka Tick ✅

[𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒍𝒕 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉 @Shadaya_Knight]

People go to clubs with no money but still go back home drunk but if you go to church without eating you will come back hungry and frustrated as you left. No one to help and assist you. It will hardly bother a brother in christ to ask if you have eaten or not

After clubbing, folks leave with like 6 people inside one car, dropping everyone at their different spots, promising where the party will continue the next day. They care in their emptiness

But go to church, you will see beautiful cars leaving with only one driver inside without carrying fellow church people going in the same direction as them. Church folk don't have love, even though they smile and play nice, appearing like holy fellows of Jesus, their hearts in most cases are filthy

Drunkards have expressed kindness than most people who claim to be Godly. They have more empathy than these clowns with speakers and loud music calling the name of their God all over

Unlearn and Relearn!!!

[Wamutahi @Son_of_Laikipia]

"Wamburayani úkíra úhe ka múico world war III ítanaambia"

[Wamutahi @Son_of_Laikipia]

Kimuzi pale Jerusalem:

"Sikusema unitoe kwa Ak47 unilete kwa missiles Baba"

[Wamutahi @Son_of_Laikipia]

Toto si toto! 😂

[Goddie @Goddie_Ke]

Bomet Women Rep Linet Toto. Congratulations

[Tom @AiwithVitor]

One of my Cousin's used to date a married man but she had a serious boyfriend in the US .
So the boyfriend was coming in December wakafanye ruracio .The married man really loved my Cousin and it was difficult for her to break the marriage news to him .

So one day she told me to accompany her ,we meet the man and tell him that we were having a ruracio that December .we made our way to a hotel in kileleshwa.We sat ,I told my Cousin we, remember have to eat before we break the news .We ate well and now ordered for wine ,the man was still eating .

Then my Cuzo started ' Btw Mike Kuna kitu nataka kukuambia thats why I even tagged Ochieng here. Am getting married next week na niko na ruracio "Mike: 'Ati married? No way !!!"
Macho yake ikageuka nyekunde mithili ya ngeu ,kisu alikua anakata nayo nyama akarusha kwa sahani He shouted at me "Toka hapa kwanza wewe kazi ni kusindikiza watu ukule chakula za Bure"

Nlitoka mbio nikarequest uber nikitembeanga karibu nifike town mguu kwa miguu.
Married men huwa hamtaki waschana waolewe???!So I took bolt and left ..my cuzo remained waongee kwanza after nmefukuzwa kama mbwa....Kumbe they had to ninio as Mike convinced her not to get married.

So ,December came and the summer Bunny came. Tukashona kitenge huko Nairobi textiles ready for the day.The guy was to arrive on 16th Dec so my cuzo and I planned to pick him at JKIA 10pm on 16th .Ndio ujue truly marriage is his word kumbe summer bunny had come from US on 10th akaenda Great wall kwa Dem wake mwingine..so on 16th he went back to the airport with his bags Tena tukamchukua upya.

Anyway tukamtoa airport innocently and went to my Cousin's house .The following day he said he would go to the village apange maneno then we go Sasa for ruracio .Off he went and his phone went off ,ni kama alimeza hio line todate.

A week later akafanya arusi with the other girl and kumbe she was pregnant .If my cuzo didn't die that time enyewe she will live longer.
So si ikabidi arudi Kwa married man.Married man to console her akamwambia ata bibi alinitoroka because of my love for you .
I told her that man is a scam she didn't believe.

Things started to become strange when the married man became a liar.He could call my cuzo on his way from work they talk Hadi anafika home Akifungua gate he tells her "Ebu babe chill kidogo nione mbwa zangu ,zikiniona zinafurahi sana .I love dogs "

Then he will not call till the next day again akienda kazi...Sasa sijui kama huyu mike ni bibi yake na watoto alikua anaita mbwa ama?

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

I have met alot of evil people in this country,but the evilest among them all was kiragu the mandazi vendor,Mandazi ikibaki na hawezi kula yote juu ameshiba alikua anatwambia kama tunaka mandazi lazima tulale chini atutandike hawezi tupea bure juu yeye sio wetu,Five Canes for one mandazi,Kuna siku amenipiga viboko 115 lakini na mimi tumbo ilikua imejaa kama python imemeza ndama,sikukula supper na breakfast,left a very big scar on my left buttock naambianga bibi nilipigwa panga 2007 tukipigania kura za Baba

[Bûsh döçtór🧑‍⚕️💰 @josekush001]

"ata uvae kama undertaker mshaharà ni adi kesho jioni"😂😂

[Don Bull @mainandegwa232]

The TRAGIC STORY of KEVIN OMWENGA aka Richhy Rich

28yr Kenyan Car salesman who was killed after joining washwash business.

THREAD.
1/2

[COACHEZ MICA @Micamreggae]

@Harriet_divine @IdehLily Na matako je?

[Tom @AiwithVitor]

"Take this 10 Million and leave our daughter alone, go live your life......"

Hizo family ziko kweli ama zilikua tu movies?

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Nairobi kids have grown up watching Tvs and ingesting American Lifestyle mpaka vichwa zimeruka,ndio hao mnaona town wamevaa Viatu ziko na sole inch tisa,wengine wamedunga ulimi yote ata binja hawaezi piga,wengine mnaskia wanajiita gothicals wanataka kukaa kama vampayas,Some of have gone to the extent of piercing their genitals,mrembo anaangusha surual masaa ya ngono unaona keyholder kwa sublenya inabidi umeingia chini ya kitanda kabla bible imalize kudownload umsomee kitabu ya leviticus umkemee asikuzambazie mapepo buana,Westernization is a deadly plague and its coming for our sons and daughters,America was a mistake

[KOT Socha 🇰🇪 @Kotsocha_ke]

Nurse toto sai watu wanasema inaboo
They will fatten you and one day they will take you to a slaughter house

[COACHEZ MICA @Micamreggae]

@Tmx_kee Nikiingia Nyeri lazma nipitie

[COACHEZ MICA @Micamreggae]

Trap ya kununua makaa fake iko juu Sana hizi streets,like juuzi nanunua ngunia moja at 1700 ju they convinced me vile imechomwa na mti ya (Mukinduri) kufika kwa nyumba napata nusu ni machupa😑