Mike DeCoste

[Alex Hirsch @_AlexHirsch]

@sama What if you just talked to your children

[🅿️ @the_P_God]

Hey man so pumped for you to visit me in the city this weekend. Our rough plan is as followers:

Friday night: I pregame your arrival. You feel like you need to catch up. We get way too drunk and stay out late. Order Taco Bell at 3am.

Saturday: wake up deathly hungover at 11. Sit in the equinox steam room for 20 minutes. Call it a workout. Start drinking at 3pm. Convince ourselves that we need to buy a table for the night. Don’t even hit the table minimum. Get home at 5am.

Sunday: we feel like death. You call your uber to LGA and barely make your flight. I text you mid flight “great to see you man. Gotta do it more often. I feel terrible right now.”

[Zak Williams @zakwilliams]

Happy 75th Dad!

Today I'm remembering your weirdness and your extraordinary capacity to love.

And for the folks out there who'd like to celebrate with me, go do something kind for someone. Make someone laugh. Put a little more good into the world.

Love you forever.

[WolfRMFC @WolfRMFC]

RED CARD FOR THIS PRICK

[InfantryDort @infantrydort]

These pics are INSANE.

[Aziz Ansari @azizansari]

Parks Throwback: Apps and Zerts

[▫️𝑪𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒂 𝑷𝒂𝒛▪️ @polloalba7]

Esta es la mejor foto del mundial y no pienso discutirlo 🥹🫶

[Erling Haaland @Erling]

One thing to do today… search my name on Google 😉

[The r/BillSimmons Podcast @rBillSimmonsPod]

Bill Simmons describes hearing about the Jaylen Brown trade from his wife picking him up from a colonoscopy:

“I think I’m dead. The anesthesia killed me. Are there more first round picks?

When this trade happened I had a camera in my ass, and I had Paul George rammed up my ass”

[JJ Watt @JJWatt]

What’s the phone number for the FIFA red card appeal hotline?

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

That was not the definition of a red card.

[Bill Simmons @BillSimmons]

Iconic Tillman free kick. Favorite USA goal of my lifetime other than the Donovan/Algeria goal. Still reeling from the dubious red card on our best guy…, one team grabbed jerseys for 2 hours to stop advantages, the other team had an awkward collision somehow become a red… what?

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Holly. Every day for the past 5 years, she picks out a stick and brings it to her favorite spot for “zen time.” While her stick may change, her routine never does. 13/10

[Sopitas @sopitas]

🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴 Tras clasificar a la siguiente ronda del mundial, todo el plantel de Noruega se sienta en el campo y empieza a remar junto con su afición en el estadio…simplemente maravilloso 🤩🤩🤩

[Transfer Portal @NCAAPortal]

One more time in my life I want to be as excited as a 7 year old headed to a hotel pool

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

DUDE LMAO THIS IS A GAS STATION😭😭😭

[Sarah Wilson @auntierarer]

Today my "boys" turned 21. At diagnosis they were not expected to live past 7. Such a massive cause for celebration. But sad that my dad didn't get to celebrate with us. I know he'd be very proud

[George Kittle @gkittle46]

At 4 am this morning, as I laid in a deep slumber, I was called to action by my wife who had discovered a spider the size of a half dollar in the bathroom. Without hesitation I arose to combat the intruder. Claire handed me the slant board I’ve been using for rehab, and I immediately knew the spider had no chance. It took but 1 attempt to strike down my opponent. I received hugs and kisses for my bravery and fell back asleep with confidence. Have a day gentlemen. 🕷️

[Stansaid Airport @StansaidAirport]

17 years old. Never had a better friend. His last frisbee. The bestest boy. Sleep well.