Michael J. Alcorn

Seeker of, and occasional producer of, beauty. Writing, music, amateur photos, and random nonsense

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@zerohedge @MZHemingway This sounds like surrender in victory

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@Newsweek The Otter of Disdain sees your imbecility

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@libsoftiktok Wait… So on the same day that New Jersey Democrats elect an acolyte of the blind sheik, New Jersey Democrats lift the curfew outside an ICEfacility/Warzone?

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

I’m no “expert“ or anything, but when I see one of these bad boys forming over the mountains before noon… I’m cleaning out the garage to hide my cars @BianchiWeather @kodythewxguy @CReppWx

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@MZHemingway Just the headline wins the best turn of phrase award for today

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@davidharsanyi @guypbenson Feels a lot like a Torricelli maneuver is coming soon

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@Shapalicious Dude had 35 and worked his ass off. Playing for the 3 there was questionable but reasonable. Was better when it mattered than any Nugget (too bad for him the rest of the team was very Nugget-esque]

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

This is why. Think Batman—you don’t wear a mask to protect yourself, you wear a mask to protect your loved ones. And since we know the Left is perfectly happy to use violence…

[James Woods @RealJamesWoods]

On the left is Spencer Pratt’s home. On the right is Jimmy Kimmel’s. Mr. Kimmel repeatedly violates FCC equal time election laws campaigning against Mr. Pratt on his late night political show. ABC’s defense is that Mr. Kimmel’s show is “comedy.”

They are also selling unicorns.

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

Me: at a Japanese aquarium.

peaceful day, families everywhere, soft piano music.

then I notice one employee SPEED WALKING past us carrying bucket.

Employee: Excuse me.

another employee runs by, then another.

suddenly whole aquarium staff moving with Avengers-level urgency.

Me: ...

Friend: Something happened.

we follow crowd to penguin section.

absolute chaos, one penguin missing.

not metaphorically, ACTUALLY escaped.

staff members whispering intensely into walkie-talkies.

tiny child beside me: The criminal has escaped.

Me: WHY DID HE SAY IT LIKE THAT.

then I spot the penguin.

bro is BOOKING IT down hallway at shocking speed.

sliding on stomach around corners like furry torpedo.

staff chasing respectfully.

one employee holding fish like hostage negotiator.

Employee: Kenta please.

PENGUIN'S NAME IS KENTA.

Kenta ignores authority completely, runs directly into souvenir shop.

now people buying keychains while rogue penguin commits grand theft atmosphere.

finally old aquarium worker appears.

everyone parts ways dramatically.

this man kneels down calmly.

pulls out single sardine.

Kenta stops immediately.

walks over with zero shame.

Old Worker: Enough adventure.

penguin allows himself to be carried away like drunk friend after party.

crowd applauds.

Friend whispering: He'll do it again.

Honestly? absolutely.

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@SatireAP @SarahisCensored I don’t think y’all are reading the transcript right. The govt was represented at the initial hearing by an AUSA, the judge entered the stay away and released him pending trial, which he skipped out on, and that’s that. How the hell you get from there to Jeanine Pirro?

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

Of course they should. But they won’t have any credibility on it thanks to the bait-and-switch Elbridge Spanberger pulled in Virginia

[InteractivePolls @IAPolls2022]

NYT/Siena: Dem voters on how their party should shift in order to win the 2028 presidential election

General: 52% Center | 25% Left
——
✅️ Crime: 50% Center
✅️ Immigration: 46% Center
✅️ Healthcare: 45% Left
✅️ Economy: 42% Center (36% Left)
✅️ Transgender issues: 38% center | 23% Left | 34% Not Move

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@libsoftiktok Would it surprise you to find out that Drake Middle School (of the now infamous pro-life poem) is the primary feeder school to this school?

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@SCOTUSblog Any big ones still waiting?

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@JonathanTurley You don’t actually believe that a panel of twelve people can be put together in New York that will convict Luigi, do you? Like, I would think reckless endangerment is the best a prosecutor could hope for *with that jury pool*

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@RealWayneDupree @ShamsCharania

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@KFILE “Nazi-like”?!? Are you daft? It is literally a Nazi symbol.

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@jt_english We could tell! Thank you for bringing that passion to the local church

[Michael J. Alcorn @MichaelJAlcorn]

@ mattpowell @StorylineArvada Sunday morning humor (IYKYK)