Michelle Colen

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Y'all I don't need to go to the gym. I just need to fold the weighted blanket my husband bought me a couple times. 🤣

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Current mood: spoonfuls of Nutella dipped in whipped cream with the occasional strawberry on top to balance it out 😁

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Me: Blisters are so gross.

Also me: Poke it! It's so squishy!!!

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

I loved Clifford the big red dog growing up but as an adult my first question is how his food bills alone didn't bankrupt the family... 🤷

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Traveling home with my fiancee and @JetBlue put us in different boarding groups. My fiancee politely asked if we could board together and was informed we can only board together in the later group. Extremely disappointed in the customer service. #smh #CustomerExperience #ruiner

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Overheard after spin class:

"Dude, how much butt sweat do I have?!?"

"My boobs shrank!!!"

🤣🤣🤣

#thestruggleisreal

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

It's not that I'm too lazy to dust my house. It's that I feel it's important to properly prepare the house for Halloween. It takes time to accumulate a properly horrifying level you know 🤣 #Halloween #dustingishard

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

@doramajoo Creepy!

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

PSA- Before crossing a one way street always look both ways so you can properly scream at the car reversing the wrong way down the street about to run you over. #learntodrive #safetyfirst #rightofway

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Watched this flip from 2 silver line buses both coming in 1 min to saying they're arriving to this. Still no bus. #useless #mbta #mbtafail

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

I'm thinking I should just direct deposit my paycheck to Amazon. Cut out the middle man, ya know? 😆🤷😉

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

One of those days when you walk into the kitchen with a dirty plate and try to put it in the fridge because you forgot you were looking for a Seltzer. #gettingold #memoryproblems

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

@doramajoo It's almost embarrassing how many hours I've spent playing Stardew 😅

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Hmm... I didn't realize bird box and the new Marie Kondo show are so funny. #TheMoreYouKnow

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

@doramajoo Eventually it shifts to also include your aches, pains, medications, and their side effects. 😆

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

One of those days where you order a sandwich with ham and get bacon instead but not the good salty crispy bacon but the limp soggy slices of cured pork. #readyfortheweekend

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Love this. Cracked me up!

https://t.co/LZvKc0i5Jt

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

Anyone else notice the striking similarity between Uber wait times and Windows updates? Instead of status: 10%.. 15%.. 15%.. 100% it's 3 min.. 5 min.. 5 min... Here!

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

When your cashier picks up your reusable bag, places it to the side, and starts putting your things in plastic bags. #gogreen

[Michelle Colen @Mickerspaniel]

... you're telling me you don't dab daintily at your river of sweat after boxing class with an embroidered handkerchief?

Guess i'm just a #classybroad