Mark

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

@CBPodge @timthemonkey81 Are you saying that female boxers shouldn't be allowed to block their lovely faces? I find that offensive.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

@CBPodge Running on borrowed time, no doubt. But there was an inherent positivity there, that perhaps didn't come accross well. I'm alive!

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Another year older. Another year closer to death... Go fuck yourself.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Because they're rubbish at football? @CBPodge

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Did I ruin your speech, or did I dream that? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I dreamt that. @james_beattie

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Wait until this month's BOTY newsletter arrives. Only then does it all truly sink in. @james_beattie

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Tried ripping the sleeves off my t-shirt, but it just won't give. That's quality for you. #ggbawards

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

More self-inflicted really, but should be a belter. Shame you couldn't get down man. @UncleBen_

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Was literally just sick a bit in my mouth #ggbAwards #PESlive

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

I stay strapped. I don't waste my time with limericks. I LOVE to respect women.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Walking through Rochdale town centre. No one should have to live like this. Why isn't this on the news? It's a fucking outrage.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

It seemed everyone in Asda had some kind of weird white make-up on. It's hard to explain. I just got the hell out of there. I need a drink.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

It's really more of a classy tin can than a jar, which only further proves my point.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Kenco Millicano wholebean instant. £4 a jar (not on special). I'm not some sort of bum.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Textbook lazy Sun. brunch. Tube of bonjela, litre of coffee (instant), 10 L&B. Really sets you up for a day of online poker @BarneyGumble99

[eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone]

Why do our Ipod cords always get tangled! Am I right ladies? What a world!

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

The moment the dog set foot on my garden, I assumed ownership of the animal. There's no grounds for dispute here. That's just basic dog law.

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

So a quick sleep on the train to Leeds wasn't the best of ideas. Anyone in Scarborough? Fancy going to see a film or something?

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

So apparently this guy I went to school with is running his own mid-sized Texaco garage now. Good luck to him, I say. #shouldhavebeenme

[Mark @MightyChoctaw]

Great. Now I really want to eat some beetroot. This is all I need. @belowthestairs