Mikayla Foster

Producer, actor, director, dancer, crab fisherman, slut

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

Tried to recreate your vine and chipped my tooth @codyko @alisannemk

[4th haim sister @andromedism]

inside out if it was filmed inside my head

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

My background photo is Yung Gravy and Danny Devito, I’ll never forget when @er_daynes glanced at my phone and asked me when I met Yung Gravy…. Never been more humbled

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

I spent $300 on groceries and got a $2500 mechanic bill today, but Noah Kahan drops his new song tonight so I’m still thriving

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

One time high as fuck on shrooms I spent an hour admiring how beautiful the bathroom was and when I left to tell the homeowner I realized it was my house

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

If I had a nickel for every time a random cat appeared in my house, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

I slept through fire alarms recently and I think at that point it’s just natural selection

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

Im sorry Amazon you want WHAT???

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

Hot firemen had to come to my rescue this morning and I completely forgot I have a stripper pole… like sorry I’m just a fireman in training guys

[emily o ♡ @emilyoujbara]

@NoahKahan ok so i’m gonna go to therapy! what’s your venmo i’m gonna bill you

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

It’s optimistic but I have me marrying Noah Kahan on my bingo card for 2023

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

A ferret is just a limousine rat

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

Dads are such a cool concept I wish they were real

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

No, actually crack

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

"Hey, do you smoke weed?"
"A lot"

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

No follow up questions thank you

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

Nipple piercings are like hats but for your boobs

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

Me when my mom doesn’t answer the phone on the first ring

[HOOD VOGUE is tired of poverty @keyon]

This video been sending me for a week 😭 https://t.co/kfqLzV7tYU

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

One time I was taking payments, the flames were losing, I told my table “if I was the flames I would just get the puck in the net” when an incel replied “you know it’s not that easy right?” In which I told him “ya no shit that’s why I’m your server and not playing for the nhl”

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

One time I got violently high and made a watchlist of movies only to wake up the next day to realize it was just 4 Nicholas cage movies

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

Ok me

[Mikayla Foster @Mikayla_Foster]

@sinfield1994 Are you talking about me? Let it go,bitch! That was 8 minutes ago.