Mike Kozlinski

Biblical Counselor (ABC Certified), Teacher, Trainer, Speaker

[Erick Erickson @EWErickson]

When we do not police our side and hold our side accountable for its corruption, the other side will take back power as voters reject us for them or stay home. It's why we need to call this out. https://t.co/b7QeNqLh6Q

[RC deWinter @RCdeWinter]

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

* An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

* Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

* A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

* Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

* A question mark walks into a bar?

* A non sequitur walks into a bar.
In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

* Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

* A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

* A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

* Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

* A synonym strolls into a tavern.

* At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

* A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

* Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

* A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

* An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

* The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

* A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

* The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

* A dyslexic walks into a bra.

* A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

* A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

* A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

* A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony .

– Jill Thomas Doyle

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@LloydLegalist https://t.co/SdzJ4xYnZ1

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

A man asked a widow if he could say a word at her husband’s funeral.

“Certainly,” she replied.

He stood up and said, “Plethora.”

The widow smiled and said, “Thanks, that means a lot.”

Another man stood up and said, “Bargain.”

The widow replied, “Thanks, that means a great deal.”

Yet another stood up and said, “Earth.”

“Thanks,” she said. “That means the world.”

Another man stood and said, “Infinity.”

The widow smiled and replied, “Thanks, that means more than you can imagine.”

Yet another stood up and said, “Retirement.”

The widow said, “Thanks, my husband would have loved that.”

Finally, one man simply held up a sprig of Mentha spicata.

The widow smiled and said, “Thanks, that’s a lovely scent of mint.”

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@praximtheology @dgh5391 <cough> Southern Evangelical Seminary <cough>

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@LowerLeavell @ProfCubas I recently listened to part of Sherlock Holmes a few months ago. That early story about the Mormons was wild

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@SlowToWrite In general, I don't think Trump or mainstream narratives are highly reliable. That said, conspiracies are even more unreliable. We live in an age of preferred narratives, rather than objective truth

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@joehussung Marrying a podcast to a substack? I see someone learning to engage

[Andrew Snyder @Andrewnsnyder]

Imagine what we could have had if the world had consistently listened to the warnings of C.S. Lewis.

"Mercy, detached from Justice, grows unmerciful. That is the important paradox. As there are plants which will flourish only in mountain soil, so it appears that Mercy will flower only when it grows in the crannies of the rock of Justice: transplanted to the marshlands of mere Humanitarianism. it becomes a man-eating weed, all the more dangerous because it is still called by the same name as the mountain variety. But we ought long ago to have learned our lesson. We should be too old now to be deceived by those humane pretensions which have served to usher in every cruelty of the revolutionary period in which we live.

...

One last word. You may ask why I send this to an Australian periodical. The reason is simple and perhaps worth recording: I can get no hearing for it in England."

- C.S. Lewis, The Humanitarian Theory of Punishment

[Joseph Leavell @LowerLeavell]

This is one of the reasons I long said that evangelicals sought to use Trump rather than care for his soul. We reversed the warning of Jesus and said, "What does it profit if Trump gains his soul and we lose the whole world?"

He needs humility - we gave him power.
He needs to see his need for Jesus - we gave him self-sufficiency.
He needs genuine truth of a friend - we gave him the treacherous kissing of an enemy.
He needs correction - we gave him applause.
He needs accountability - we gave him excuses.
He needs conviction - we gave him cover.
He needs repentance - we offered justification.
He needs the cross -we handed him a crown.

God holds him responsible for himself, but we have done very little to care about his soul from the very beginning.

Pray for President Trump!

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@joehussung

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@joehussung

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@joehussung

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@joehussung

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@TheBabylonBee Can you believe they got so worked up over a positive Covid test @alt_w_v_g ?

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@dandarling

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@ErikReed @LowerLeavell The solution to significant sin and error isn't a different version of significant sin and error. And while it has been repeatedly argued that the sin and error of the Left is worse, and in one sense it is, in another sense it isn't. We resist their sins. We have embraced ours.

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@LloydLegalist

[Mike Kozlinski @MikeKozlinski]

@dandarling You misspelled Uconn