Michael Mowery

Monetizing this app has devolved it into anyone being a terrible person and saying whatever they want and getting paid for it. Grats to the freeloaders.

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

The 19-year-olds who attend my favorite university didn’t score enough touchdowns today so I’m blacked out, facedown in the driveway. My wife is crying, begging me to come inside & sing Happy Birthday to my son. “Please just reverse the Rav4” I whisper into the concrete.

[BMatthews @the_bmatt]

No one: How many anytime TD parlays are you going to make for NFL week 1?

Me:

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

told my husband i feel sorry for him bc fall is so much better for women than it is for men cuz we have fall fashion and pumpkin spice and you know what he said? nothing. he was ignoring me to read about football. i was wrong. fall is better for them. they have football.

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

For the second straight season, Josh Allen will wear caps designed by children receiving care at Golisano Children’s Hospital of Buffalo for all Bills home games. This season, fans can purchase the cap designs via https://t.co/DszyLlfEQX, with proceeds benefiting the Patricia Allen Fund as part of the partnership between Josh Allen, New Era Cap and GCH Buffalo.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@215TheSportsGu2 @TBrontelli @AdamSchefter Dak gets shit on constantly but the dude does a ton of good charity work. Quit being sensitive about someone who doesn’t know you exist trying to placate their struggle for them. Just acknowledge the good in the world like this movement and be less insufferable. Damn.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@17gamepace What’s the obsession of Nacua? Maybe I’ve just never seen “it”.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@ConesHighWaters @VoiceOfTheStar Most people, honestly. We could be a better society if we just flip that script.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@PFF_Nicky Hahaha the clear Cowboys uniforms in the background

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@sunnkssdseraph So I take it you’re pretty wealthy since you already “get it”?

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@seanatx24 @JohnOwning Rookie safety at that!

[Andy Bailey @AndrewDBailey]

Working on a "best NBA player at every age" slideshow for Bleacher Report. I was geared up to internally debate over Cameron Boozer, Darryn Peterson and AJ Dybantsa for the 19-year-olds before I realized Cooper Flagg is still in that group.

[Gu$tavo @Ghus_tav0]

I'm a type C person I can wake up at 5am. I can wake up at 1pm.
I can work for 15 hrs straight, or I can do nothing for 3 days. text back in 0.5 secs or 2 weeks later. love being alone but hate feeling lonely. overthink everything, then end up saying it is what it is.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@woolyonezeez @BudrinoPolitics I run a restaurant and was talking to 3 of my staff members. All 22 or younger. I asked if one of them was an “aficionado” and they thought I was an alien. Then I said, should I say “savant”? They thought I was insane. Then I said these words were used “colloquially”. They died.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@GoMFGators @Ells_DTX Top 10 isn’t really that insulting considering he’s played more games than most active QBs in that time frame. Hell Matthew Stafford is 2nd lol

[Texas Rangers @Rangers]

Repost today for a chance to win this Rangers Gameday Sweepstakes presented by @ArenaClub!

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@FoodPleaser Jalapenos. Fixes everything.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@Nate_Knows_Ball Jalapeños do enough work for mastication here.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@DonMusaVT @blacknredtext Gorgeous.

[Michael Mowery @MikeLBWB]

@Dbrickshaw69420 Hit everything with hair on your head and you can just leave. Eyebrows, facial hair, 0 on the dome.