Mike Pittel

KC to CHI

[Mike Pittel @MikePittel]

Vet: You need to put him on a diet
Me: I will definitely do that
Us, at the dog bakery:

[Zac Hill @zdch]

The whole 82-0 phenomenon reinforces that whole bit about how the only thing a bunch of dudes need in order to have a good time is to sit around announcing the names of a bunch of old athletes.

[B. Miller @BlaiseInKC]

There’s some quirk in physics where, if there’s a small hole in a bag of mulch it will leak all over your vehicle.
But if you rip a giant hole in the bag and try to dump it out into your landscaping, almost none will fall out.

[Ashtyn Butuso @lil_buts]

Please god do not ask Rudy Gobert about Hantavirus

[Mike Pittel @MikePittel]

Don’t be this doucher. Just because he doesn’t know how to have fun doesn’t mean the rest of the city doesn’t.

[Arch Bishop Brandon @BrandonP2TF]

Our bars are B level and in really shitty areas. Proceed with caution and at your own risk

[Tyler Stafford @tylercstafford]

They might need to throw an inning a piece at this point

[Mike Pittel @MikePittel]

We left ElMarko Jackson in the game in a critical moment and asked him to do something important. That is about as indefensible as it gets for Bill.

[Paul Pierce @paulpierce34]

Is the portal open lol

[Mike Pittel @MikePittel]

How much bourbon does it take to handle everyone else’s dad? I’m on 3 and still feel pissed.

[Woody @woodyVSworld]

Me liking every sports related tweet I see to try and get politics off my timeline

[Riley @Ri_S_OB]

JUST SCREAMED “BALL” AT THE TV FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SEASON. I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS!!!!

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Do you think jimmy john and jersey mike have explored each others bodies

[Cons @CaptainCons]

Scream “BALL!” at the TV when they see a fumble

[Rank 1 Apples @Rank1Apples]

Maybe instead of selling off public lands we judt pass a bill instead to ban private equity from owning single family homes or duplexes or townhomes and then see how many homes are available?

[Heidi @HeidiOCanada]

A major problem is that the dumbest and least educated people on the planet think that they are as intelligent as the smartest and most educated people on the planet.

[Doom Coming @Getthebagcoach]

People will call for impeachment but he’s been impeached twice already and nothing has happened

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

From @JuliusGoat

[Mike Golic Jr @mikegolicjr]

someone needs to suction cup a flag at half court of a college basketball rivalry game this year.

[SaintJ2🌓🇧🇷🇨🇴🇨🇻 🇵🇦 🇸🇳 🇨🇮🇦🇷 @SaintJx2]

Steelers have a CTE demon that jumps from receiver to receiver

[Kae Kurd @KaeKurd]

This is a nation of professional protesters.