Mike

Card-carrying AAA member.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

I have a couple more car wash tweets...

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

The town where I live treats restaurant openings like moon landings.

“They said it wouldn’t be possible to open a restaurant here, but with millions of dollars of taxpayer money. We did it.”

“Really, what used to be there?”

“A different restaurant.”

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

Carly can whip up choice millennial slop bowls like nothing, but when I do it? Barely edible trash.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

Slap a gopro on that thing.

[Woody @k991woody]

Another classic from Joey Votto. I’ll never understand how people don’t like this man.

“Shout out to Canada.”

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

Update: Carly did it. I forgot to put birdseed on the list tho, so Ace is going to deliver that.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

Absolutely dreading going to Costco this weekend. How will I weasel my way out of it?

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

It's time for one last pull of Conan O'Brien's Walker, Texas Ranger Lever.

Rest in peace, Chuck Norris.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

I’ll take them.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

Carly is legit so lucky.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

@TheGoldenArmMTG @HowThingsWork_ ??

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

@wearetherace Hugo for sure.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

I ate the whole box already.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

Living in Orland Park, IL.

[sasha 🔮 @sashaonetime]

what was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child?

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

I want more year-end data. How many granola bars did I eat? How many Caesar salads?

[follow @bencollins on bluesky @oneunderscore__]

"I can’t remember a time since 9/11 when emotion and bloodlust overwhelmed reason as thoroughly as they do now, including among liberal elites in media and politics."

https://t.co/pDuk6YZjou

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

This one hit a little too close to home.

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

Where you from?
Florida
What part?
Chicago.
Where about in Chicago?

Peoria

[Mike @MikeSurfsTheNet]

The Browns’ midfield elf thing kicks ass.