michael

unorthodox rarely realistic winning bastard

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

I would definitely penetrate her third eye with my chakra cleansing crystal and release my high vibration energy in her pineal gland

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

Fuck a warrant

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

She makes me feel on fucking top of the world wow

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

Have to have her

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

Smittened at first sight with this girl

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

My wife bought off-brand Pop-Tarts. Sometimes I think she’s acting out on purpose. Don’t know why she’s trying to drive me away but I’m not going to budge. I’ll love her through this. This is the raw and often ugly side of marriage people don’t want to talk about.

[Courage International AISBL @couragefound]

The DNC’S Lawsuit Against WikiLeaks Poses a Serious Threat to Press Freedom https://t.co/2EHDVTaf5b By helping to fund the legal defence, you defend the right to publish: https://t.co/JWzH6DZuwt

[Dwayne Johnson @TheRock]

@JODYHiGHROLLER Haha appreciate the luv brotha. Btw, I use one of your lyrics when I’m talkin’ shit to my boys.. “get up in your ass like Charmin” 😂🤙🏾👊🏾

[Ben Shapiro @benshapiro]

You are a biological woman. Your fiancee is a biological man. You're trying to have a baby the same way humans have had babies for all of time. https://t.co/Rq1m2vIRK8

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

I’ll work twice as hard as everyone else if that’s what it takes

[zerohedge @zerohedge]

Ex-Facebook Executive: "You Don't Realize It But You Are Being Programmed" https://t.co/S0qES94shw

[Rogue Dad, M.D. @RogueDadMD]

Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.

[Birth.Movies.Death. @bmoviesd]

We spoke with @PeterW_1974, who may well turn out to be the secret weapon of DEADPOOL 2. https://t.co/r6zsoAcZHM

[RossCreations @CreationsRoss]

LOL I'm liking random people I know's payments to each other on venmo and it is freaking hilarious.

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

PhD in Pussy Eating

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

Every girl at uni: “ugh i hate frat guys”
Every girl at uni: continues fucking frat guys

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

Always a love/hate relationship

[RossCreations @CreationsRoss]

Grandparental controls that prevent your grandparents from installing viruses.

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

Strippers and Pornstars

[michael @Mike_is_winning]

Good things come to excellent people