MxMayhem

The USPS is my sworn mortal enemy.

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

@nagromztuak This is a new motivation. And I recently switched to going at 5am now 😭 I would go every day if their werent any damn people

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

I really wish I could be a morning person. I wake up early-ish, but by no means am I ready for it.
I'm in the gym at 7 looking like a bmore crackhead. Everyone else is happy and smiling.

"Good Morning!" for me comes out as basically a cough.

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

@plasticfarm I was in a comic book shop in Gettysburg (Fourcorners) today and spotted this cool pin. I wasn't aware what it was, the person there told me about the strip and your work. I live in Baltimore so i bought it to bring back home!

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

@Blizzard_Ent I checked out #Overwatch_2 and I gotta say... This shit suck.
Fuckin super sucks.
This is Overwatch 1 with more steps.
Where's the PVE. I don't care about this live service BuLlShIt

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

@dbrand Fucking gross. For $60 I want the whole bundle. Not half, fuck this thing, enjoy the $3

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

@nagromztuak I only have a Twitter to harass the @USPS because THEY CAN'T FIGURE SHIT OUT

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

@ElectRyanDorsey What's your alternative as a response to the current pain points living in fed Hill?

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

@dbrand how long will my steam deck remain in the nude.
When is the killswitch releasing?

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

Chelsea is easy to appease. I made her rice cakes in miso broth and them butt cheeks come out for me to touch 😍👌

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

I donated to The Satanic Temple in support of body autonomy and human rights recently because I believe what they are doing regardless to the outcome.
I was very excited to see this in the mail today!

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

I'm the "bring your dog everywhere" anoyying fucker. But I'm also "don't look at my precious baby anxiety boy" fucker too.

I also thought you could bring dogs into home depot until I realized the people working were visibly uncomfortable and also he pissed on the floor 👌

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

I'm out, drinking $14 beers. And 21 year old me would have cried at the thought.

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

I'm buying pit vipers.
I know. They're for douche bags.
I know. I'm a douche bag.
But I fuckin want em, and I don't give a shit.

They aren't for yall. They're for me.

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

This 3rd period Caps team is wrecking it.
Looks like a different game.
4 goals on 21 shots.
Sammy was getting tilted in the first half.

This is that exciting playoff shit I live for

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

"woman just want to have rampant sex with no consequences" - Some guy that gets no butt.

Ya. DOESN'T EVERYONE?

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

Chelsea had to drop her truck off at the mechanic this morning. She pulls into the parking lot there, and gets out.
She hears some asshole blaring Senses Fail "Bite to break skin"
Turns to look and who is it at 730 am.
ME! SURPRISE, Now get in its 2005 in here.

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

Looking at facebook memories is like a cringe hangover you asked for

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

Me and Chelsea ducked into the Leinie bar in powerplant to avoid the opening act for TSSF. Since we're old we don't need to stand around with a bunch of kids on a hot packed floor in rams head.
One look around and you can tell all the older millenials have the same idea 🤣

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

It's cheaper for me to order quality sushi for two then it is to order 2 burritos from @chipotle now. Yall really ain't shit for them price hikes

[MxMayhem @MikeyxMayhem]

My work system is 2 desktops, a laptop, 3 mice, 2 keyboards and 6 monitors.

Absolute chaos everyday