Kayla Milam

Freelance Writer - Christianity, Entertainment, Gaming | contributor @BCActionMR_com | general weirdo

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

Hey. Hire me if you want to live. #nerdwriter #nerdblog #freelancewriter #writerforhire #humorblog #guestpost #hireme https://t.co/jVQyfLZVU6

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

School assemblies be like:

“Hey kids don’t be a bully”
*does a backflip*
“Seriously y’all bullying is like, so bad”
*does a triple kick flip and jumps a bike over a teacher*

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

My first semester of college, there was this guy who liked my roommate. He would stand in the courtyard beneath our window telling her jokes and singing and playing music while wearing a kilt - she would get so embarrassed. They’re happily married now and I think about that a lot

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

@starnicarn @PS5StockAlerts Same! I can’t believe it!

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

@the_dice_druid hi! I’ve been emailing you for four months now with no response. Where are the dice I ordered in February? Thanks!

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

@PS5StockAlerts And the controllers?

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

@PS5StockAlerts Does anyone know if I can like, return the games to GameStop?

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

We can all agree that it took far too long to deplatform him, and it’ll take a generation to undo the damage. But at least it’s a first step, and that’s worth celebrating https://t.co/Dn9KFrcQsd

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

@taylordson This cannot be real

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

hello darkness my old friend
why are you here its 4pm

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

My son as soon as he gets home from school

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

KNOK KNOK
HOWS THERE?
SUPER
SUPER WHO?
SUPER BYE BYE PANTS

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

@house_house_ I just want you to know that I bought Untitled Goose Game for myself, not even thinking my kids would like it, but now they play through the whole game twice a week and they talk about it in their sleep. Thank you so much for multiplayer 🙏🏻

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

welcome to imposter syndrome club is everyone sure theyre in the right room

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

Just made a waifu joke with my church friends and the blank look on their faces reminded me that internet culture is not transcendent 😬

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

What do you call a penguin wearing a top hat? I don’t know, I was never taught that at school.

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

What do you call it when kids make those teeny tiny voices like they’re tiny fairies and what do you call it when they do it so much you want to die

[Taylor Johnson @taylordson]

Check on any friends who said they were turning the debate into a drinking game. They're probably dead.

[Taylor Johnson @taylordson]

Everything is O.K.*

*Owful Knews

[miss thang @blackmarketPhD]

ur chances of being killed by shia labeouf are low but never zero

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

My child, playing Untitled Goose Game, said he wants the shopkeeper to clean up his mess because “that’s what ladies are for” so I guess it’s time to throw this child in the trash and start over 🙃🙃🙃

[Kayla Milam @Milamshewrites]

@JoeyAppleseed Mine was 😂 but now it’s 😅so I’m not sure what that says about me?