Miles Betterman

Part-time writer of comedy songs and full-time hater of the human race. The Dickhead Song is available from all good download sites (and a few crap ones).

[karen says... @karenab32]

🤣

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@PlanetOfMemes Wayne pictured in his new living accommodation.

[karen says... @karenab32]

😌

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

Not sure last night's family comedy 'Fisherman's Friends' had the correct warning.

#FishermansFriends #OneAndAll #Channel4 #Comedy

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@elonmuskADO What's X..?

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@Thekeksociety Hillary's smoking a spliff.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@historyinmemes Nope.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@karenab32 I don't hold grudges... I remember facts.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

#NewProfilePic One for the ladies.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@NJODea I hope you'll be tweeting a link to where we can download it without having to pay as you have my Dickhead Song.

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘backfriend’ (15th century): one who pretends to be your ally but eventually stabs you in the back.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@Scouse_ma You're right... Dave's should have an apostrophe.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@nocontext_paul https://t.co/55fBRaqkzs

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@Kevin_Maguire 45 people raised their hand and 56 didn't. Not sure that's 'Almost all of you'.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@Godofdead16 Yo, it isn't.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

I've just made 'Do things at the appropriate time' my New Year's resolution.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

One of the worst things about stupid people is the way they think YOU'RE stupid.

[Miles Betterman @MilesBetterman]

@SamInspired @nocontext_paul My day:

😐😐😐😐🫤🫤🫤🫤😕😕😕😕🙁🙁🙁🙁☹️☹️☹️☹️😠😠😠😠😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬😴