Miles Cookman

Guitar player, singer and awful scrabble player. Front man of the Miles Cookman Band (MCB).

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

The (surprisingly) long wait for the return of Test match cricket to England is finally over.
The post-ashes era starts today and the reputations of a few movers & shakers is on the line.
I’m excited to see how Emilio Gay gets on and also how Atkinson slots back in.
Let’s go!!

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@sewateruk @Kent_cc You actually disgust me. Every single toilet in whitstable currently has unflushable human waste in it. May you all get what you deserve.

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@sewateruk @richardtorble That takes minutes in an emergency like this. Pull the other one.

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

Hey Southern Water @sewateruk can we have an update on when people without cars can expect to get even a dribble of water? Toilets need flushing, children need cleaning, food needs cooking etc. When did you decide Whitstable was a third world country?

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@sewateruk Not under 5. What difference does that make? Do children over 5 not need water?

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@sewateruk Everywhere locally has sold out!!!!

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@sewateruk When are you turning the water back on?

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@sewateruk Hang your heads in shame. Absolutely disgusting.

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@BBCRadioKent No water anywhere in Whitstable and Herne Bay. Queues for literally miles at the out of town water stations. This is an absolute disaster.
Please send help

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@Ofwat No water in Whitstable and Herne Bay on the hottest day of the year. @sewateruk are fine to pump raw sewage into our coastline but can’t even provide water. Absolutely disgraceful.

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@sewateruk I’m not allowed to dm you because I’m not verified. I’m in the middle of whitstable, just got home and I can’t even have a wash in the sink. This is totally unacceptable.

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

No water across the entire of whitstable. What on Earth are @sewateruk playing at?!? What with this and raw sewage dumps they are not fit for purpose. @BBCNews @bbcsoutheast

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

@Suzysue8 @HullCity I quietly wanted boro to win but you are absolutely right

[No Context Keane @NoContextKeaneo]

Enzo Maresca’s first day of training after he takes over from Pep at Manchester City 😆

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

Southampton have been kicked out of the Championship Play Offs and deducted points for next season’s championship.
…To be on the safe side, Everton have also been deducted five points.

https://t.co/KcOs417wKi

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

Just how many sports headlines are going to use “Hearts Broken”?

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

The question keeping me awake tonight is…
If I could fly, how much could I carry?
Would it be like swimming where pretty much any excess weight drags you down?
Could I fly to a gig with my guitar?
Would I need to wear goggles?

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

Did the BBC end their sacking of Scott Mills by saying "Love you, Bye!"?
...Too soon?

[Miles Cookman @MilesCookman]

I’m not one for trying to find the hidden meaning in dreams but last night I dreamed that I took a petrol lawnmower into the shower to clean it with a paintbrush.
Answers on a postcard to the usual address.