Miles Bratton

To be the reason for someone's smile is one of the best rewards life has to offer.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

@petahfajita For better or worse, I disagree. Maybe you don’t get it. Want me to explain it?

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Does a horse walk to drink wine out of a bottle? No, decanter.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

@Uber_Support Thank you! I've actually submitted about 8 requests for assistance on that form over the last 2 months & have not received a response...

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

@Uber my account was hacked over a month ago (multiple foreign txns in a short period of time) and my account was blocked. Please help

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Derek Zoolander was the original One Direction

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Had a date at a bakery. Called it deli meet.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Made a friend from UF. Call them my ally-gator.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Baby, if I could be anything, I would be an elevator for your alcohol. That way I could always lift your spirits ;)

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Where's a pirate's favorite place to get a drink? The barrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Vietnamese food is the best. Pho real.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Queso, I love Mexican food.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

@Dan_M_Hawkins when I'm a burnt out hobo on the side of the street, all I ask is that you give me money. Specifically, three fiddy

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

If there was a freak storm in the north today, could you call it a...nor'easter?

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

I was moooved to take this photo.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Cuddling during a downpour: Monspooning

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Malaysian Truth or Darelines: the most awkward jet company

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Malaysian Darelines: the most risky jet company.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

It's plane to see that the coverage of the Malaysian 777 disappearance is perfect for a slow news day. It's getting a little Boeing to watch

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Hey Russia, Crimea river and get over it.

[Miles Bratton @MilesEllis2010]

Puns about the Olympics are Sochi-sey.