Miss Kindie

I teach kindergarteners. I am not making this stuff up.

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Me: On the 6th day of creation God made animals. And then he wanted to make something even more special and amazing. He wanted to create…
Kindie: A UNICORN!

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie: My mom is pregnant!
Me: Yay! When is the baby coming?
K: At the end of the month!
K2: That’s by Halloween!
Me: Do you know if it will be a boy or a girl?
K: Not yet. We will find out at Christmas.

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Eating lunch in our classroom this year.
Kindie 1: Where does ham come from?
Me: A pig.
K2: Where does chicken come from?
Me: A chicken.
K1: Where does turkey come from?
K2: A cow!
Me: No. Turkey comes from a turkey. Do you know where hamburger comes from?
K1: A restaurant

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie: Mom! Guess who was at the naming ceremony of our coffee cart!
Mom: Who?
K: Donald Trump!
#ItWasTheCEO...

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Me: "What did you do for spring break?"
Kindie: "I went to the airport and played my violin for tips."
#saywhat

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie after a footrace: "I need faster shoes, 'cause I always lose."

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

me: Would you like a piece of candy?
Kindie: I can't, I'm lenting for that.

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

me: What will you do for your birthday?
Kindie: I want to go to Chuck E. Cheese, 'cause I haven't been there in 162 years.
#TechnicallyTrue

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Me: (talking about eating turkeys for Thanksgiving)
Kindie: "Do people really eat hippopotamuses?"
#waitwhat

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Teacher: "Tell me your favorite color."
Kindie: "Pink and purple."
T: "Ok, but if you had to pick just one..."
K: "Yellow."
#hmm

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie, 6th day of class: "Is there just one 'E' in the ABCs, or two?"

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie, 4th day of school: "There's a B in the ABCs, and I have a B in my name!!" #momentofdiscovery

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Today a kindie said to me, "I pretty much almost didn't recognize you today because of your crazy hairdo!" #itwasalittlewavy

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie: "My dad, he ate a LOBSTER!"
Kindie #2: "I know a guy who ate a CHICKEN! A dead chicken!!!" 🐔 #MeTooBuddy

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie: Do you know Spanish?
Me: No, do you?
Kindie: I know one word: "dude"
#smileandnod

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie: "Do you like how God made you?"
me: "Yes, do you?"
Kindie: "Yes, but mainly I'm better than you."
#verbalbeatdown #ouch 😭

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

Kindie: "There's a switch in my brain that goes up and down, and it's a little broke, and that's why I don't think so good." #excuses

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

*pouty kindie*
Kindie: "I'm fwustwated."
Me: "Why are you frustrated buddy?"
Kindie: "I'm fwustwated that I can't say my awz wight."

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

@mooriah05 @CART3Rsanders0n Do you recognize this actor?

[Miss Kindie @MissKindie]

@Forrest_3rd *hangers