A narcissist will only "love" you as long as you make them feel good about themselves.
Start calling them on their bullshit and watch how quickly you go from soulmate to disposable.
Can we once and for all dispense with this tedious "But he always took the bins out and said hello" commentary, as if there was a contradiction here that needed explaining.
Violent men ARE "nice guys".
They're nice to everyone but the women they abuse. That's the whole point.
The only way a narcissist can get somewhat close to happiness is by living every day in a delusional fantasy world where reality doesn’t exist and they convince themselves that they are in control of everything and everyone around them.
Get in the pattern of telling the truth. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when you feel your heart racing. The truth might hurt someone else's feelings. It might change how they see you. But integrity is the beginning of an emotionally healthy life.
"He loves you, he just doesn't know how to show it" is enabling.
Learning how to show love, express emotions, and understand other's emotions is an adult responsibility.
Why making excuses doesn't help:
Some people are looking for attention and adoration— not partnership. Partnership requires a level of maturity, delayed gratification, and self awareness.
Some of the worst advice is to never quit. Or don’t ever give up. Knowing when to quit and move on takes self awareness. Quitting opens you up to what you’re truly meant to do.
Wise people let go when they need to.