MisterMeatwagon 🐜

No. You may not contact my previous employer.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@perlmutations "Me fellow Americans, I promise you two things; one, I'm always gonna look this good. Two, I'm never giving up on you, ever."

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@DeviateHulk @arvofart Got home from school at the age of 6 when my older brother told me eagerly mom rented us starship troopers, first titty on screen he slammed pause looked at me with the utmost seriousness and said “Mom isn’t gonna know you saw this.. right?”

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@Josh_the_Mosh Partly convinced the dude has some sort of brainworm body snatcher thing going on, encouraging people to drink from contaminated rivers and eat shady meats and diarrhea lettuce… the fucker looks more rigid and dead every time they take his picture.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

I guess june is just gonna always hurt like hell.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

It’s a crime that badgers look that damn cute, like dude put the murder mitts down and lemme give you some scritches.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@DeviateHulk First to starve, first to die. I never thought I’d be the blue collar guy beating the drum about broken systems but here I am with a body breaking still.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@DeviateHulk

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@DeviateHulk @doubtpointv2 Puberty unfortunately gifted me a pendulous situation, I first sat on my balks at the innocent age of 17.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@DeviateHulk Four edibles, half a handle and three different DoorDash orders in one night, that’s my prediction for myself.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@itsapmseymour Goddammit, now I remember the cabbit, now and I have to try and find an intact collection of tenchi muyo, universe, and in Tokyo…

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

Rebel mockingbird, of course we had to be a bit more flashy being Texas and all, ice melts when it’s dumb enough to show up down here.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

Anybody seen my dog?

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

Post coma, and rehabilitation selfie.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@Komaniecki_R @TellEmSteveDave

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

This job listing has what I can only describe as aggressive cocaine energy…

[Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson]

Will you guys pipe down? I'm saying goodbye to Lisa!

Rest in peace, James Earl Jones. 🕊️

[Matt Silfen @mattsilfen]

The couch, 9 months after JD Vance fucked it:

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@TomStheVoice I’m just looking at the og graphics and imagining Kira writing the name “Pikachu” into the death note inadvertently wiping out a generation of a species

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@DeviateHulk @brycecarringto5 Was that a Patton Oswalt reference?
Honestly I heard my voice feedback through REN’s headphones the other night when we were gaming, I said I sounded like a serial killer taunting a detective through voicemails.

[MisterMeatwagon 🐜 @MisterMeatwagon]

@HistoryMuppet Be honest, it takes you a second to notice Willie on first glance.