Phay

Yo! If you’re here, it’s probably cause you saw my thoughts encrypted in a tweet, somewhere. Whether they make sense or not, I dunno. Just stay around!

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

It is already a travesty that schools are still operational in Nigeria, but there is nothing worth celebrating today as Children's Day.

I call upon you to bully brands and government organizations who intend to put out children's day posts.

46 children are still in captivity.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

@GloWorld
Akara business is easy to start for goodness sake! This thing you’re doing isn’t telecommunications. GPRS in 2026?!! Your customer care team keeps dropping my call. Can’t access internet services. What exactly is wrong with you people?

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

Me waiting for a new generational meme at the Oscars tonight

[robinson @vivalarevolz]

one thing is certain, a new generational meme will be discovered today at the Oscars

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

Y’all sleeping on Who Is Erin Carter??

[goma @soigomaa]

Can someone please recommend a Netflix show that’s actually addictive, the kind that makes people stay up all night and finish season one in one sitting?

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

You just described Tommy and Monty’s relationship in Landman. Perfectly said.

[Michael Taiwo @AskMichaelTaiwo]

One of the most bizarre things I observed at Shell was how someone would spectacularly fail at a $$$ project, and instead of being demoted or fired, the opposite happens. They get transferred to manage another high-visibility project or even get a promotion!

It took me a long time to understand this but when I did, it changed everything for me.

You see, performance is measured in most companies on two prongs: the what and the how. The “what” is the actual result: did you or did you not strike oil after drilling that well? The “how” is the behavior you displayed during the entire process.

I was too focused on the actual results but I later found out that leaders rate behaviors higher. Hence, a project might fail in that it did not meet its stated objectives and yet the project manager might come out a winner because of how he carried himself through it all.

So what are the behaviors highly cherished by the higher ups?

First is daily updates. Forget weekly reports. Tell your boss and other key stakeholders about how the project is going at least once a day. When I say “tell”, I mean “tell.” Don’t rely solely on an email or a tool. Find a way to get in their face daily even if just for a min or two to verbally articulate the status of things. The pros at this put a standing 5-10 min meeting on their calendars and they come prepared to discuss the highlights and issues that need addressing. Which leads me to the second point.

Second, involve your superiors in solving the problem. Don’t form James Bond or Jackie Chan, trying to do it all alone. Any issue that will lead to a delay or cost overrun or any other wahala should be brought up asap to be discussed. Much easier to do if you talk with them daily. It is hard for them to blame you on the outcome of a project they have been integral to.

Third, conduct a “lessons learned” session where you perform an autopsy on the dead project. Share these lessons far and wide. You will be hailed as a sage. Suddenly you are now the guy helping the company become better by spreading wisdom gained from the school of hard knocks. This act alone has landed many people their promotion.

Bottom line: you can secure victory from defeat. The high flyers in your company do it all the time. If the project succeeds, they win. If the project fails, they win.

Be like them.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

To us all who homeblee-ed this December 🥂

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

I’ll be top of the top. I dunno how but I’ll be.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

“How much is N20M”

Don Jazzy:

[Ayilola of Nigeria /Laptop Guy 🩺 🇳🇬 🇬🇧🇺🇸 @silverpenydr]

Hi fam,

CORRECT LIST.

The two names I bolded earlier were simply errors. Agenda must agend because it’s not the favourite big influencers running it. I even saw someone with just 200,000 followers doing agenda ; that alone shows that follower count has nothing to do with sense. I don’t know how he packed all those followers.

I created the list myself and the only mistake there was not adding the underscores to those usernames I just bold now. Simple.

We used three verified vendors on X for the 24 laptops we’ve delivered so far, and every single one was sent out properly.

@Val_Gadget delivered 5 laptops
@neo_officialll delivered 9 laptops
@SpartanSolutns delivered 10 laptops

Or do they deliver to faceless accounts too?

Why are you so senseless?

How much is 20M?

Some of just pack followers and you no get sense.

Meanwhile, you that don’t even have work are busy monitoring usernames like it’s a full-time job.

The correct list is below, I just tagged all the vendors involved. Before you continue your agenda ask those vendors.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

@silverpenydr Not to say anyone’s perfect but for a project as big as this, you want to vigorously vet every smallest alphabet to the biggest dots, commas, and underscores, before putting it out here. Coming back to say, “I made a mistake here” only give more rooms for questioning.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

“If you send it to me, I’ll not give you that job.”

Are you God???

[Extrastiv @Extrastiv]

HR will always be HR.

You can’t actually predict what they’ll do. Your email could be perfect and still get ignored.

But if you want to increase your chances, like genuinely boost your reply rate, the first thing is to ditch those tired intros everybody uses.

Please, avoid “I hope this email finds you well.”

If you send that to me, I won’t give you the job. I’ll just shake my head and close the tab. 😂

Here are a few things you should be doing to get a positive response about 60% of the time:

1. Start with something specific about them, not you.

Not the “I love what your company is doing" kind of mail.

Something real. Something they actually tweeted, posted, or updated on their website.

Something like:
“Your new product update on bla bla bla caught my attention." Or "The way you handled xyzzzz shows you’re really paying attention to customer pain points.”

Short, direct and human.

2. Tell them the exact gap you noticed in their company and why fixing it matters.
You must do your research well before doing this.

(I have a story in an unreleased episode of my CREATORS' DIARY SERIES where I interviewed a lady that used this strategy well)

3. Prove your skill in one sentence. Be bold about it.

Just a quick line like:
“I’ve helped a fintech brand increase blog traffic by 87% using a similar strategy.”

That alone buys you attention.

4. Make your ask small.

No “Can we schedule a 30-minute call?”
No HR wants that.

You can try:

“I can send a quick breakdown of what I’d improve if you’re open to it.”

5. Keep the entire email under 12 lines. This is my personal opinion though because when I was still actively looking for a 9-5 job, I always get replies to emails under 12 lines.

At the end of the day, all these does not matter. Because, you can get a reply and still get rejected during interview.

Wish you all the best💚🙏

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

We can’t even afford tickets to go watch our favorite artists no more 💔

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

This can’t be the country I promised “to serve with heart and might”

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

Jingle bells jingle bells, jingle me more money

If e reach your turn, make e jingle on your way

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

@ChimamandaReal
I’m begging you again 🙏 Please bring Purple Hibiscus to our screens.

[Adéolá @adeolanavigato]

‘Papa flung his heavy missal across the room and broke the figurines on the étagère.’

I first saw the word étagère in Purple Hibiscus about 14 years ago, back in secondary school.

For years, I thought it meant some kind of Igbo artwork or sculpture with figurines on them.😭😩

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

Dear Snapchat, even the selfie I took last week was 4 years ago????

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

@Yorubaness 1. I’m eating rice
2. I ate rice.

Although, the àmì ohùn for the second one is pretty confusing. Should be, “Mo ję ìręsì”.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

@Ladyflair2 Botanically, a berry is a fruit that develops from a single flower ovary and has seeds inside the flesh. Bananas fit this definition perfectly but strawberries don’t. They’re practically imposters because they form from multiple ovaries in one flower.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

Bananas are technically berries, but strawberries aren’t.

[Phay @Mo_Phay]

A U D A C I T Y!!!!!!

[Chimamakaa🌼 — GET YOUR PVC @_amakanwa]

Must have committed a heinous crime in my past life to be sharing nationality with these number of lunatics🙂