Mommy Asylum

Just a combination of hilarious pics and overall 'fuckitol' of being a parent.

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Oh wow. Still holds up

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

I am physically hoarse from all the screaming I'm doing in my head.

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Zoom, and subsequent alcohol abuse, starts again today. Wish me luck.

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

2020!!!

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

I remember the first one built in our town. Holy shit, splinters, worth it.

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

My 8 month old learns new abilities each day, including the 'parasite' ability which drains parent units of all nerves

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

I'm literally working on my third.
#coffee #sahm #tired #needSleep

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Stolen from a facebook group.
Stolen from reality.
#brats #clutter

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

If I'm in that silk bedding, drinking wine, and looking at fireworks I do t care who stares.

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

And let's not talk about the people that need iron supplements because constipation makes everything better. #sahm #pregnancy #sick #notworthit

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

I tried to breastfeed only to lose weight but my body said no so now I have to do it the old fashion way.😒

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Damn, 2 years.
#sahm #needSleep #tired #kids

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

#coffee keeps you sane enough to not commit murder. #tired #SAHM

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

I would have had a heart attack but it would have probably been the exercise. #33 #exercise #noCardio #midlife

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Hell I'll take a plane ride to any beach. Maybe I can use my neighbors drone and video a beach. That's free..

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Now theres extra alarm times that get snoozed. I think I'm the only one that likes it when kids are off school so I can sleep in

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

"Let's compare battle wounds and swap episiotomy stories!!!!"

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Lord, give me a sign that having children was worth it.

[Mommy Asylum @MommyAsylum]

Is it wrong to admit I only had my kids so I have grandkids? Deal with the shit now so I can spoil babies later and send them home.